BPDFamily.com

So my pwBPD lately has been saying that I don't talk to her enough.  (Wonder why?)!  Anyway, so now she's not only complaining about that, but has stopped talking herself for the most part (unless yelling at me for something).  So the only conversation we have is when I try to start something, or talk about something... .she'll give short answers, but never elaborate, or originate any discussion herself.  I'm so frustrated right now... .Conversations are not one sided, and this is getting so stressful for me!  UGH!

I found conversation strained with my exgf at the end.

Her conversations always revolved around her. Whether it was what she wanted to do, who had upset her, her exs, what she liked etc etc. There was never any interest in me or my aspirations. The only time she talked about my work was when the contract was coming to an end.

After a while it just turned to criticising me. Anything I said got twisted and thrown back in my face. It got to the point I stopped talking to her.

The only way I could engage her was to talk about her.

Yes, strained is putting it mildly... .I feel so uncomfortable in my own home lately, and I can hardly stand it anymore.   :'(

I honestly feel like I just don't know what to do anymore, I'm feel so ... .defeated, I guess is the word... .deflated maybe?  I'm so tired... .When things are good, everything is fine... .but those good moments are much fewer and farther between lately.  It's very sad. 

It's also that way with my uBPDH. Mostly he just has nothing to say and when I talk (about my day,life etc.), he's not really listening. When he's in idealization mode, he talks non-stop about himself and his interests, but still not really interested in what I have to say. I am almost ready to throw in the towel, no matter how hard I try, it's awkward and feels dysfunctional. I am realizing that my only value to him is to make him feel good about himself and if I don't do that (by having needs of my own) then I get rejected in some passive aggressive way.

Wow... .nicely put.  That's exactly how I am feeling lately.  I hate it... .we've been together almost 15 years.  It's so hard to let that much history go... .plus there is the responsibility I feel... .I feel like I'm responsible for her well being and future, so while I realize that is not reality, it's hard to separate from that feeling. 

Boy this sounds famliar... .Yesterday my uBPDh was tired and quiet... .I asked about how his day went... ."fine, I guess... ."... .I always tell him I'm interested in his day... .He didn't really say anything about his day... .(maintaining control of keeping me guessing, I guess?... .) Later, at dinner, his son started talking about the work they did that day, and my uBPDh got mad at him for being the one to share "his" info... .We just CAN'T WIN with BPD... .  :)