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Title: What do I do about the suicide threats? Post by: hope61 on August 28, 2014, 12:19:01 AM I am just so tired of the suicide threats. My 27 year old son has made so many threats over the past 3 years that I don't know if he's crying wolf or if I should really believe that this time is the time he will actually take action. I'm so angry that he gives me ultimatums--if I don't do this or that, he will definitely kill himself. How can I live with myself if he truly does kill himself? I will always think that maybe, if I had just done that one thing, he would be alive. I'm just so sad and angry, and I feel like I have no options for help for either one of us! I feel like he is taking me down with him. Can someone please tell me what to do?
Title: Re: What do I do about the suicide threats? Post by: lever. on August 28, 2014, 03:28:17 AM In the past my daughter made several suicide attempts and talked about suicide. What helped in our case was to always take it seriously and to involve the emergency services.
I also didn't rush to visit the hospital the next day or make a big drama of it (although it was alarmingly scary). If she just told me she was unhappy and felt like killing herself I was as helpful as I could be and spent a lot of time listening and problem solving-but if I thought it was manipulation I was cooler. I am posting a link about dealing with threats of suicide-I hope you find it helpfulTOOLS: Dealing with threats of Suicide and Suicide Attempts (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=79032.0) Title: Re: What do I do about the suicide threats? Post by: SeaSprite on August 29, 2014, 02:25:44 PM hope... .I'm so sorry you are dealing with this with your son.
I agree with lever, call a crisis line or 911 if he seems to be in danger. Try to listen when you can. My d and I used to have a system, 1-10, where 1 was about ready to kill myself and 10 was the best day ever, and 5 was just normal. I'd ask how are you 1-10, and she would give me a number. If she was lower than 4, we'd start making a safety plan. This only works if they are willing to cooperate, but somehow the number scale was helpful. Title: Re: What do I do about the suicide threats? Post by: Rapt Reader on August 29, 2014, 03:16:28 PM You've gotten some good advice from lever and SeaSprite, and I would just like to add some links that could also help:
Emergency - Local Live Support Centers (https://bpdfamily.com/discussions/search-info2.htm) TOOLS: Dealing with threats of Suicide and Suicide Attempts (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=79032.0) Depression and Suicidal Ideation (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=69192.0) I've also had to deal with my BPD son (age 36 at the time) during a Suicidal Ideation (and a few more times prior to that age, also), and it's a parent's nightmare... .I'm so sorry this is happening in your family, hope61 Title: Re: What do I do about the suicide threats? Post by: HealingSpirit on August 29, 2014, 09:28:47 PM This is such a scary situation! My DD17 used to pull the suicide card all the time when she was in her early teens, so I know how manipulated you feel, and that fear that if you don't give them what they want, they'll do it. I used to call my DD's bluff a lot. I'd have the phone in my hand, ready to dial 911. That was usually enough to stop her threats.
The others have given you good advice I wish I'd had back in those days. I just wanted you to know I hear and feel your struggle and pain over this. |