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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: camuse on August 30, 2014, 06:31:53 AM



Title: Do they know what the childhood trauma was?
Post by: camuse on August 30, 2014, 06:31:53 AM
Do BPDs know deep down what happened to them to create the disorder, but block the memory, or do they simply not remember because they were so young?

Mine once said she didnt have a PD because she wasnt abused, but I read that the abuse/neglect can be merely "perceived" so does this mean the trauma can be imaginary?

Also, could someone be abused at a very young ages but have no memory of it, yet have it cause a PD anyway?

Bascially I'm wondering if my xuBPD knew what had happened to her, or if she genuinely didnt know anything had happened at all? Or maybe nothing actually happened but she imagined something, in which case does she recall what she imagined?

So complicated.


Title: Re: Do they know what the childhood trauma was?
Post by: BuildingFromScratch on August 30, 2014, 06:46:06 AM
Mine was molested at 5 by her babysitter, then when she told her parents they beat the crap out of her for lying. And she still had to go to the babysitter. Talk about horrible parents. Anyways, to answer your question I think many things can cause it. Even just having strict parents and a predisposition for it can cause it.


Title: Re: Do they know what the childhood trauma was?
Post by: Recooperating on August 30, 2014, 07:00:29 AM
I read that BPD is genetic, hererative. (Childhood) trauma can trigger it, but the gen-package has to be there. Maybe trauma isnt necessary for the disorder to develop... .



Title: Re: Do they know what the childhood trauma was?
Post by: camuse on August 30, 2014, 07:01:08 AM
Thanks, she told me her parents were extremely religious and very strict, and would go through her stuff and shout a lot. I don't know if that would be severe enough to cause BPD though, maybe it would if predisposed as you say.


Title: Re: Do they know what the childhood trauma was?
Post by: Bak86 on August 30, 2014, 07:05:09 AM
She told me she had to perform sexual acts she didn't want to do.

That's all i got out of her.


Title: Re: Do they know what the childhood trauma was?
Post by: woofhound on August 30, 2014, 07:36:33 AM
My uBPDex never mentioned any sort of abuse when she was young. However, her mother was beaten regularly by her father, and her mother was verbally abusive. This caused my ex's mother to have many BPD-like symptoms. Throughout her life, my ex's mother, from what I've heard from my ex, had several boyfriends that only lasted several months and exhibited promiscuous behavior. She is now a hermit. She doesn't leave the house, she smokes weed all day everyday, she doesn't work, she collects money from the government for fibromyalgia, and she has prescription pain meds which she takes every day... .She also blames everyone for her problems except herself. She constantly blames the government, her doctors, neighbors, etc.

Most of my ex's young life was punctuated by a string of boyfriends of her mother. I believe my ex learned how to be in "relationships" from her mother. As a result, she is unable to form lasting, intimate bonds with people. Her "friendships" are very superficial, and her relationships are, from what mutual friends have told me, often very short term. They only last as long as it takes for her SO to figure out that something isn't right.

So, in this case, it's likely that it was a learned behavior or a mix of nature and nurture.