BPDFamily.com

As I described in a previous topic, the food was too salty. I now can't cook and have been asked to leave my own home.  I should say raged at rather than asked. I said I'd be back later he said I don't want you to come back. I started cryin, he raged more. I tried to be as calm as possible. I went and picked up the book "I hate you, don't leave me" and am sitting in my car reading. Cell phone doesn't have much battery left but I'll be checking in to see if anyone has words of wisdom for me. Not in a good state, help me be strong

I am so sorry. I have no real advice. Only unconditional support.

I am sitting alone in "our" home wishing he was here after 12 weeks no or low contact. You are not alone.

I have that book staring at me across the bed as I type on my lap top. You are worthy and deserving of a healthy and supportive partner. Pls pls don't think that anything you do should ever drive you from your home.

I too have sat in my truck outside my home (it was mine long before he came into my life) and wished to not have to go in.

I miss him. I love him. But I'll be damned if I will take one more ounce of crap from him.

People learn to function together. We make mistakes and repair them. you can salt the food as much or as little as you like and it shouldn't result in your exclusion from the home or relationship. Quite frankly you are way ahead of me. The best thing I make is reservations. lol

Pls pls know you are not alone. I shall sit and think of you until I see you post again that you are ok. Hugs.

I'm sitting in the car that I'm currently driving (I call it that because it's my parents extra, they have mine after my retired father insisted on fixing it) in my driveway.  I'll be posted up here until a) he goes to work or b) he says I can go inside. I made myself useful and washed and vacuumed the car I'm driving and got it an air freshener. Don't know why, but it made me feel better. *shrugs* i always cook no matter how exhausted i am BUT i do mess things up sometimes, I'm human, I accept it. He on the other hand with his black or white BPD brain cannot accept this. He expects perfection every time but that is unrealistic which he can also not fathom. By me sitting in the driveway I've showed him I'm not going anywhere,  that should ease the abandonment issue slightly for him. I'm a thinker sometimes  :) even though I manage to over salt dinner. I care for him more than he thinks but I know he can't see that most of the time. The over salting of dinner was a "personal attack" on him, he said it himself but how do I convince him otherwise?

I thought I was the only one to go sit in my truck after a crazy episode. I can completely relate to this. Since moving in together my truck is the only place that I feel is mine and I find my solace there.

I have been kicked out over minor things too. There is  a standard of perfection that is impossible to live up to.

I dont have much to offer in way of advice. I new to this and still learning myself but I can tell you that your not alone in this. That's been one of the biggest reliefs to me. Just knowing that others are having the same difficulties and dealing with the same issues. It makes me feel less crazy and more grounded.

I wish you the best and Hope this hard time passes quickly.

Being painted black is very upsetting, my dBPDh leaves the house and runs away.  He doesn't care that this upsets the children because he puts in his mind that he is the victim, even though he is the persecutor. He had been doing well and then started having contact with his very sick family.  Now he is off the reservation, again.  The kids are very upset at first but then it ends up being more peaceful without him.  He senses that we are happy without him and he gets even angrier and starts doing asinine things.  Expecting that part to come next.  It is a very typical pattern.