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Title: did going NC 3 years ago make BPD alienate worse? Post by: nona on August 30, 2014, 09:29:26 PM Im doubting myself and feeling such regret as I experience the grief of my very alienated daughter.
I am feeling guilt and wondering if NC made him alienate d8? Am I in the fog and he would alienate her anyway, cause UBPDX did it in the marriage too. HAs anybody here read stuff by Dr. craig Childress ? He wrote a blog article "stark reality". maybe thats another thread. thanks Title: Re: did going NC 3 years ago make BPD alienate worse? Post by: ForeverDad on August 30, 2014, 09:59:57 PM You can only do what you have to do. Yes, setting boundaries can trigger overreactions in the other. But how can you know that not setting boundaries would have been better? In most cases I believe weak boundaries is not a solution and actually worse. Please, don't second guess yourself. What's done is done, you can't undo the past, to fret over "what ifs", it is not productive.
It seems Dr Craig Childress made a valid observation on his blog, "When a child is being sexually, physically, or psychologically abused, we first need to protect the child. There is no other acceptable option and I will not pretend as if there is." You've tried to protect her, the courts have thus far not been supportive by reaching this conclusion. Title: Re: did going NC 3 years ago make BPD alienate worse? Post by: nona on August 31, 2014, 09:51:06 AM Thanks foreverdad.
You are right , can't undo the past. I think this is FOG. the lawyers made sure everything was kept OUT of the courts, I settled for damage control. I finlly have a better lawyer, who's advice is to still stay out of court. so the fact that the courts have not even seen anything yet... .nags at me. |