BPDFamily.com

Helloo!  I’m new here and am a 20-something year old female with a BPD sister who is only 1.5 years older.  She lives on the opposite coast as of a couple months ago.  I’ll preface by saying I love and care about her soo, soo much. She can be an amazing person, friend, and sister, but I have to be honest: growing up with her and her verbal and emotional abuse toward me, my parents, and her friends/boyfriends had a very negative effect on me (all of us).

Particularly in high school, she took out most of her frustrations, negative self-image, bad decision consequences, etc. on me.  Luckily, I had great friends and a good support system so I got through it (barely), but sometimes I think about how life could have been for me if I were, say, having problems in school, or with friends, or my love life, etc...   It would have been a LOT for me to handle among living with my sister’s behavior (those years are stressful!).

So (I’m not a writer AT ALL), a few years ago when I was in college I thought it might be therapeutic to write a short story about negative effects on someone with a BPD sibling.  I wrote a very dark story about a high school boy with a (undiagnosed) BPD older brother, so naturally (since I can’t say I know first-hand about BPD high school males) I used a bit of artistic license.  I tried to make it kind of parallel to my sister, though.

It’s reeeally dark, it has a lot of inappropriate stuff/cursing, and I didn’t know how to end it (or title it) so I never shared it with anyone.  Found it recently and re-read it and decided to share in case anyone in this community is interested.  Anyone have a similar BPD sibling situation?  Would love to hear about it.

I put it on tumblr - let me know what you think:

www.fall-BPD.tumblr.com/

Hi BPDsisssss  and welcome to the family  *welcome*

I'm glad that you took the time to post your experience. It's very difficult having a relative with the disorder and I can understand your frustration at the effects.

Whilst remembering is such a necessary part of recovery and healing sometimes it gets to a point where it's worth taking  alittle breather. Rumination - or rather overrumination can sometimes have the effect of keeping us stuck in anger or frustration rather than focussing on new ways to move forward and gain understanding.

Was your sister diagnosed with BPD? Or did you see some traits that led you to conclude that she has it? it would be interesting to hear how you came to be at this site.

You may not be a writer but you certainly expressed yourself to be well understood there! Do please expalin more

Ziggiddy

Hi BPDsissss,

I read your story. Very powerful. What really stuck out to me was the constant demeaning statements by the brother to his sibling and mom. I didn't notice that brother ever spoke to dad this way. Was this the case in your family? If not, how did your dad respond to reports of your sister's behavior?

Anytime a loved one criticizes and demeans a family member, it carries more weight upon our psyches, than an acquaintance. Have you read anything about destructive relationships between family members? I recommend any of John Bradshaw's discussions on the family. You can find his work on Youtube.

I am so sorry for your experiences and hope that you are taking care of yourself. What is the status of the relationship between you and sister now and sister and parents?

Looking forward to hearing from you.

Peace and blessings  :)