BPDFamily.com

My ex and I were together for four years, however we were friends for three years before this. We have a two year old son, lets just say she isn't the best mother in the world and has spend only 4 weeks out of 19 with her son. Leaving her at his parents.

She is in the last year of med school and has been in Tanzania working in a hospital for three weeks, returning in a week.

We have recycled twice already with mini break ups all the way through. Since we broke up in May she has had sex and mini relationships with two men. She went on holiday to Spain with a man she had only met ONCE for two hours previously!

Before she left for Africa I drove her to get injections and spent the day together as a family. We ended up have very intimate sex!

Since she's been away she tells me she loves me, misses me and cant wait to see me. Messaging me every day. She wants to have sex with me on her return and spend time with me.

She keeps asking "are you behaving?" as in are you dating! She then said "I don't like to share"

My question is, since we had sex has she realised that she misses me OR is she just playing games?

in a way she's always just playing games. and right now what she's doing is making sure that you remain completely absorbed with her while she is in another country doing who knows what. we have to be honest, pwBPD are not going to be alone. i think her motive of telling you she so wants to have sex with you when she gets back is simply to keep you inline and away from other women. she's already had sex with two other guys, and this is just what you know of. i highly doubt she's alone now, and it's also likely she's telling the same things she's telling you to other men. there is probably at least one other guy waiting for her return as you are. i wouldn't put too much stock in what she is telling you. from what i've read of others' experiences with long distance relationships with pwBPD they break down quickly when you are actually with the person in the flesh. she could get back and maybe want you one minute, or would rather be with some other guy she's been stringing along--in which case she'll ramp up the abuse as an excuse to go see them. if she's asking you if you are dating anyone, are you asking her the same? not that you would get the truth. i wonder how she would react if you told her "i don't like to share" and "are you behaving?"

I hear what you're saying. She is very waif like, she doesn't have much self confidence and she isn't good at meeting men in person. Only online! She is shy and reserved. She is in the middle of nowhere in Africa.

There were two men she was dating, one was a psychiatrist and ran a mile. The other found someone else. She may be messaging other men, shes told me she hasn't, but then again who knows.

Not all BPD are the same, she needs validation and attention, yes. Who knows, only time will tell.

I do believe, actions speak louder than words. I'm not going to get too engrossed in the words she says, more her actions when she returns! If anything I need to play her at her own game, tell her what she wants to hear and smash her emotions.