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She walks around here all chipper and happy like this cute little girl who could do no wrong and it makes me sick! I want to walk right up to her and spit in her face and tell her to stop the phony act! I just wish people knew how coldhearted and mean she was to me. Im struggling bad today

Hang in there man! I work with my ex as well. 2 coworkers know what's up, the others don't. And that frustrates me sometimes... .It's a tough situation to deal with. It will get better with time, just try to ignore her behavior.

I literally just posted about this work thing at another thread. I know how difficult it can be to have to work with your BPD and she pretending as if nothing is happening. I used to work with my ex too. She would come to work and chat with other colleagues and be all fine and smiling and laughing whereas I would be going through one of the worst times of my life.

I had to impose boundaries at work i.e. no contact at work (after she made a scene and humiliated me in front of co-workers) but still it was tough for me to see how easily she could pretend that all is well occasionally bumping on to her at the office kitchen or hallways. I suspect she wasn't well but was pulling it off spectacularly. Gives you an idea on the level of acting these people can achieve (or complete insensitivity if indeed it's genuine). In the end I resigned. She resigned a week after. Talk about mirroring... .

I work with mine too.  What I have learned is people will see you for who you are and her for who she is.  We have always been off and on. She has been drunk and obnoxious enough times in front of the majority of them that they know her true character.

thanks for all the support guys. Im going through the toughest time of my life right now. I start to feel better when I dont see her for a few days because she works part time. But when I do see her here it triggers such pain, anger, depression etc... .and I also have been humiliated by when she blew up on me on more than one occasion. She of course turned it around and blamed me for it. The thing is, some of these other coworkers know how she really is and when I see them talking to her it frustrates me cause they know what she did to me

I can feel you my friend. I used to get the triggers too. I couldn't walk in the office. When I did my gut was all weird and my heart would pound faster. When she was on holidays for a week or two I could relax. It is a really really challenging situation you gotten yourself into. My rule from now on is no dating colleagues. If you can change jobs go for it. Or even better get her fired  :) lol (just joking).

In all honesty she should be fired a long time ago because she has called off so many times. Not only that she has a bad reputation of starting trouble and getting caught up in drama. She says she hates drama but she is gets caught up in it gets an awful lot. Its never her fault of course. Im not sure if thats related to BPD or not. What gets me thou is the act of be sweet and innocent when she practically ruined my life. I recently found out she had a relationship with another guy at work and she did the same thing to him. Had I know that I wouldnt have got involved with here. I guess I was his replacement and she sucked me into her messed up world. I was very depressed at the time with low self esteem and when she came on to me and showed interest in me if great. How I feel like such a dumbass

I got sucked into my BPDs messed up world too.  I was at a good spot in my life but I was  lonely an  the constant attention and her coming on to me was overwhelming and made me feel great. I wish she never got moved to my building.  Everything in my gut said run... .but I didn't. You are not a dumbass. You loved and cared for her. As for the coworkers... .Don't read to much into them talking to her. It is a work environment. It needs to stay professional. Coworkers can't pick sides at work. Mine did last year when things went south with my BPD... .they picked my side but it was really uncomfortable. The work environment needs to stay professional. They know what she did. They know her character.

BP Hallmark. She 'd just go on and on about how bad her boss or some of the other people in her team were. Her reactions to minor things, simply out of proportion, and I 'd just stay there listening to her, validating her feelings, using BPD related techniques. Man it didn't feel like I was in an adult relationship. It felt I had adopted and was the caretaker of a child.

Black and Blue... .

I work with mine too, luckily I do not need to interact with her in anyway what soever, haven't said a word to her in over a year.  Was not and is not easy, don't assume what other people are thinking or feeling, that's not rational! Regardless of how she presents herself, she is not okay, atleast not mentally, if she is BPD or whatever the case is.  For myself, I made an attempt to resolve things, I was the one who walked away, however she humiliated me at work, but that was my own shame and guilt f-ing with me, because in reality, even though most people knew, they never knew my side, nor did I truely know what they were thinking, so it wasn't realistic or rational, it was my own studd that I needed to work on.  And I have, and people know very well, they warned me prior to me getting involved, I didn't listen, I was already knee deep and it almost caust me alot that I have worked my entire life to get into this comfortable position that I love and I am respected in.  I have owned my own mistakes, if she parades around and is happy or looks sad, those are not my concern.  I lost a lot of weight and worked out and remained cordial with everyone and my rep though it took a hit for getting involved with her, is back where it... .I never said a word to anyone no matter what lies she spread out, I stayed to myself and duties and didn't get sucked in, eventually people saw it was b.s.  She played the victim got sympathy, but in the end, she lost a good a man, with a good heart.  I am content that though I made mistakes I tried my best in midst of chaos to help someone I could not. When you start accepting that, own your own stuff, it will get better.  Seeing her isn't easy, but I am at a point when I see her, I see a lost hurt child that I cannot help, because it will come at price at can't afford, my sanity is not up for negotiation. N.C.! OVER A YEAR AND COUNTING!

Haha sounds like the same person i dated. All the people in our team were crazy, not her! 

Thank you all for replying... .its has been a tremendous help. I am partially to blame for the mess I got myself into. My gut feeling told me that getting involved with her was wrong yet I choose to ignore it. I was a very lonely person with low self esteem and I liked the attention I was getting from her. Since the relationship has ended my self esteem is even lower and im lonelier than ever. I used to think about what would happen if we broke up and what would it be like to work with her and now I know. I always wondered why she had so much hatred and was mean to the one guy we work with (granted he is a total tool) but as it turns out, she had a relationship with him and she was doing to him what she's now doing to me. I wish some of the people would have warned me of her but they didnt. The other night while working together we made eye contact that lasted only for a few seconds... .she had odd look to her... .like she was hollow or something. That look has been kinda stuck in my head ever since.

I work with my ex too.  It's made it VERY difficult to avoid the recycles.  We have recycled so many times I can't count that high.  It's intensely painful and worse with each one.  I changed who I was at work long ago for him.  And now know that even though we aren't together and haven't been for some time, I can't go back to being the outgoing person I used to be in the office.  I keep my head down and work.  That's it.  Otherwise, it triggers his rage and he will start in on me all over again.

I have also probably ruined my work reputation but I'm still doing well there.  I think most know I am a good person and like me.  Many do like him, but I believe by now almost all know that he has a very, very angry disposition to say the least.  I have told a couple people there what happened - only back when I was truly afraid that he might try to hurt me, literally, in some way.  Fortunately they are people I trust completely and have kept my confidence. 

Just hold your head high and do the best you can do at your job.  Being a good person and doing a good job will speak for itself. 

I worked with mine too and it was torture. Proper torture for two and a half years. Seeing my other colleagues, people I thought were friends of mine, taking her side against mine used to drive me to drink. The weeks when she was off on holiday I would be a completely different person and everyone in the place knew that.

In the end I quit, and took myself off to Australia for a year to try and recover from the experience. I don't know if that's an option for you (leaving your job I mean, not the Australia part) but I would certainly recommend it. Life is short. Don't spend it in misery.