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My exgf used to get really annoyed if I would leave decisions up to her.

i.e. "what do you fancy for dinner" me "Anything Im easy"

or

What do you fancy doing today?

I suddenly realised that it wasn't just me she left decisions to it. She would research for hours anything that she wanted to buy such as a washing machine or vacuum cleaner. I realise this is sound thinking before buying anything but she would obsess over researching it and use several different sites.

I came to the conclusion that she did this so she couldn't be blamed if things went wrong.

Anyone else have this?

Same here, she would come up with an imaginary problem and then ask the opinion of her enablers. I'm guessing this way if the decision was wrong she could lay blame elsewhere.

I kid you not, she once phoned her mum from the supermarket to ask if she should buy "soft" or "extra soft" butter. She hated shopping with a passion. Towards the end she wanted to feel all grown up and got me to show her how to cook risotto. She actually went to the store all by herself and then called me because there was a problem, pumpkin was on the list and there were three different types of pumpkin for sale. After I told her which one to get I thought that was the end of the problem, but noo, some of the pumpkins were light orange and some were dark so she called me back to ask which one to buy. It was insane!

When it came to any work decisions, really big decisions like whether she should correct her students work, (sarcasm) she would call me and talk about it for half an hour and then her mum and possibly even her dad would get a phone call.

It was so pitiful to see a 31 year old woman behave like this, makes sense now that I realise she had the emotional maturity of a 5 year old.

Here is what happened to me.  I became the one who left the decisions up to others.

Every time I went to the store to pick up something, I always got the wrong thing according to her.

Everything I said was wrong.

Whenever I asked  her to go out to eat or something, she always said "no."

I just mentally gave up at some point, and I didn't even realize it.

Our r/s was totally the opposite of this while we dated.

Everything I did was fantastic.

I think the higher they build us up, the easier it is to tear us down and start to control us.  They get us addicted to their constant praises and attention.

Okay, now another point.

She never wants to do anything.  Except if a new friend invites her to do something.  Or, if a friend of hers' goes on vacation or something.  She will go from not wanting to take a vacation, to all of a sudden being excited about taking one.

Everything is based on what her newer friends do.

Again, once the friendship is established no effort is made to do anything with them unless it is a public event that can be posted on many fb pages.