BPDFamily.com

My ex and me are in low contact. Nothing more besides 1 or 2 lines in a text message every 2-3 weeks when she reaches out.

Since i am healing and detaching during this low contact i put off my phone during the nights. In the past the nights is a time for her to become needy and that kept me awake many times when she reaches out in the middle of the night and when i didnt had the knowledge about pwBPD.

When i put my Phone back on yesterday i got 30 messages from her were she reached out to me the night before. Saying things like:

-i dont know how to handle myself

-i'm stuck

-i have so much pain everywhere

-i am distancing myself

-sorry if i disappoint you so many times

-i suck as a friend

-its hard to like me

-blabla... .

I replied shorty saying:

Sorry you are feeling this way, you know i would support you if you are willing to work on making yourself feel better. I'm disappointed if you dont have the respect to talk things through.

All day she doesnt reply, while she is active on social media. So by the end of the day i was so fed up with this ___ and sended her a message saying:

-This silence is exactly what i mean

This is what i got back:

-i'm overloaded in work

-pain and falling asleep

-it wont happen again

-not in the mood for fighting

-dont pay attention to my thoughts at night

-you know what... .i'm off

I just put a boundery i need a repons on my words if i have the respect and the effort to reply you when you need me and now she started to rage at me for what... .:

-for not giving her the chance to ruin my nightsleep

-for not pampering her

-for putting a line i wont take silence after my efforts on her

Unfollow her on social media now and a folder limited.

Low contact started triggering her i guess, limited contact access too, and now getting punished for that... .

So done with it. I'm proud of keeping my boundery, i'm proud of not reaching out to her, i'm proud of feeling releaved this might be the drop which leads to freedom.

Thank you for sharing.

I sometimes just need to feel heard and understood.

Good job on maintaining no phone calls, no in person visits, and not falling back into recycle tonight!