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Title: Parent's anniversary, why should I care? Post by: isshebpd on September 07, 2014, 11:25:55 AM A few days ago, my uBPDmom told me her wedding anniversary was the next day and wanted me to somehow celebrate it (not a milestone either). She's made this request before and it always bugs the heck out of me.
Is she confusing me with my enDad? Sort of seeing me as the same person? I have enough trouble remembering my own important dates (ask my wife ). What makes it worse is their marriage is so extremely dysfunctional, which is a huge part of why my siblings and I are so messed up. Anyhow, I refuse to send a card or anything, and she can deal with it. Has anyone else been asked to celebrate their parent's non-milestone wedding anniversary? Or is this another uniquely weird thing about my FOO? Title: Re: Parent's anniversary, why should I care? Post by: clljhns on September 07, 2014, 12:35:55 PM Hi issheBPD,
Yes, I was asked to celebrate my parents anniversaries for as long as I could remember. Yes, they have a very dysfunctional marriage, so you are not alone in either situation. When I did have contact with my parents I would give them anniversary cards, cook a big meal, or take them out to dinner, along with one other sister. This farce went on for years, even though my brother and other sister were always absent. It never felt as a real celebration, and I would think that they would have wanted to share this day alone. I really never understood why we kids had to be included. I would have understood it more if it had been a milestone anniversary, also, but was not the case. I just wanted to validate your thoughts on this and ask if you know of any other couple that expects their children to be a part of their anniversary each year? My guess is you don't. I don't know any other couple that demanded their children be a part of this day. Glad to know that you set a boundary and stuck to it. Wishing you peace and blessings! :) Title: Re: Parent's anniversary, why should I care? Post by: isshebpd on September 07, 2014, 05:16:12 PM clljhns,
Agreed, almost nobody else does it. My DW has no idea when her parent's anniversary is. They would never celebrate it, as least they're aware things haven't worked out well for them. Part of me also feels weird about my parent's anniversary because, technically, I was there on their wedding day |