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Title: Their reaction to you moving on? Post by: Infern0 on September 07, 2014, 03:58:09 PM During the last couple of weeks of push/pull when she was with my replacement but trying to lock me in the friend zone I pulled one of my orbiters in (something I regret but it helped me cope) and my BPD went nuclear over it.
I took that as her still caring so set up a meeting in which I told her if she left bilbo I'd get with her and let my orbiter down gently. She still gave me "I can't hurt him" so I told her ok then we are just friends and if you are with bilbo I'm free to be with someone too. Her reaction to this was one of anger and confusion. She told me not to refer to her as a "friend" because she didn't like it, I said what are we then and she didn't know. She just sat there with a sour look on her face at the thought of me moving on. It was so weird. Like I had to sit on the sidelines and be the benchwarmer and it was so unfair of me to try find happiness with someone who wanted to be with me now. Also she projected all her BPD traits onto my orbiter (something she did with any female who showed interest in me) like as though she was the only one for me but I couldn't have her. Title: Re: Their reaction to you moving on? Post by: Bak86 on September 07, 2014, 04:07:10 PM We work together, so i see her 5 days a week. When she noticed i was happy, she would become silent and depressed. When she noticed i was starting up my own company and i was having fun, she tried to lure me back in. When i wanted to get back in touch, she wouldn't budge. Classic push/pull. It's so frustrating.
Title: Re: Their reaction to you moving on? Post by: Mr Hollande on September 07, 2014, 04:09:01 PM The standard BPD response to most things. It's OK when they do it to you but when you do it to them it's the worst crime in the world.
Title: Re: Their reaction to you moving on? Post by: Vatz on September 07, 2014, 04:59:25 PM First off, god forbid she ever knows my whereabouts.
Second, if I actually start seeing someone and somehow she finds out, oh man I imagine all the phone bombing and wanting to talk to the new person in my life. My BPDex used to say "when you find someone new, I'm gonna make sure she treats you well and doesn't do what I did to you." A nice sentiment but I'm not sure what to make of it. Its sort of irrelevant considering that she's gone, and in many ways she abandoned me. I don't want her back in my life in any capacity, for many reasons. But I think there will be a pull. Its like king of the hill, where bill finally starts dating good woman and his most likely BPD ex wife comes back to seduce him. When he goes back to her, she pushes him away. Mike Judge is a f**king genius now that I think of it. Title: Re: Their reaction to you moving on? Post by: pieceofme on September 07, 2014, 08:07:05 PM i haven't moved on (still trying to pick up the pieces), but my ex has... .with various women, it appears
still, i get texts from him demanding to know where i am, what i'm doing, if i have a new boyfriend, etc. it makes me worry for when i DO move on. Title: Re: Their reaction to you moving on? Post by: Infern0 on September 07, 2014, 09:01:53 PM I actually began to fear the possibility of hostile action being taken against the girl I was seeing. Thankfully it didn't come to that as I managed to calm the BPD down somehow. To be honest, my replacement bilbo baggins probably saved me from a lot of serious trouble as I think she thought "being happy" with him was the best revenge when I actually dgaf about their sick relationship
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