BPDFamily.com

In court we are sworn to tell the truth. Why is that the case if we prove through written documentation i.e.( emails, texts) that they lied and committed perjury?  We are dragged into court at the cost of time away from work and attorney fees due to false allegations.We, the defendant, may be vindicated from the allegations if proven false. However, should there not be consequences to the borderline petitioner when us defendants are found innocent? If it isn't fair to incarcerate them, at least they should pay our attorney fees., right? Or am I way out of line here?  I must be missing something but it seems to me that frivolous lawsuits would be cut way down if they are held accountable in some fashion. Seriously, our time, money, and reputation as defendants is at stake. A three year old runs to her mommy when she is upset. An adult borderline with a three year old mentality runs to the police and courts if they are upset. 

I would agree with you that if there is proof that the lawsuit is frivolous then the party pursuing the frivolous suit should pay all attorney fees.  I would apply that to all lawsuits, not just those by someone with BPD!

I have often wondered about the unfairness of these things. I wonder if it would be possible to sue for defamation of character?

I read once that courts expect both parents to lie to posture for a better outcome.   They just want to get the parents through to the end of the divorce in hopes that then the emotional pain and conflict will then subside.  They even let the case move slowly, not just due to an overloaded docket, but also expecting reasonably normal parents will realize they can reach a settlement themselves quicker than the courts.  Of course, high conflict cases like ours suffer because all it takes in one parent to obstruct and delay.

I faced many allegations, my ex never faced consequences but eventually she had less credibility.  My lawyer said, (1) How do you prove intent to libel or slander?  (2) The judge won't be inclined to grant legal expenses, at least the first few times.  But eventually even the judge will get peeved a little.  (3) Judges generally are very reluctant to make one parent a winner and the other a loser.  You may be more likely to get consequences ordered eventually if you ask that the penalties go to the benefit of the children rather than to yourself, for example, to the children's education account or something similar.

I know this doesn't only apply to borderlines or undiagnosed borderlines. They can become very dangerous and leave lots of damage in their wake when they paint you black. We become sitting ducks and vulnerable to the legal system when they view us as evil. When legal arguments are not supported by the applicable laws, or are based on false testimony, or have even been commenced simply to cause distress, harm or fear to the defendant, the litigation can be seen as a form of abuse through the courts.They can use the law as a tool to sustain conflict or support a need  to gain power. Sometimes just the threat of a lawsuit is enough to have control over the other person. Borderlines, whether diagnosed or just suspected, are not ignorant and can cause lots of emotional harm when they want.  

My xBPDw was practically impeached during my divorce and we still have a sanctions motion to contend with. The judge ( female liberal) was fair up to a point. We (plaintiff) asked for attorney's fees and where shot down. I am waiting to see how the sanctions monition goes ( she filed against me and my lawyer). I have her affair on record now ( she stated in a family planning meeting that she had been having a relationship since the end of 2013, and her lawyer told her to withhold it). I have the transcript of the divorce trial where she denies it three months earlier.  Also we have her falsely testifying under oath about legal fees I paid for her during the marriage. She lied saying I didn't emphatically, but I have the credit card receipt. It going to be interesting next week.

Hang tough maintain your standards.

B