BPDFamily.com

My last episode on Friday and Saturday of confronting her cheating with anger and cutting off all contact was first responded to with rage and then was told to leave her alone. I have but now there is this campaign to make it look like I have done something horrible and fabricating and spreading lies about it even though I have done nothing but good and just walked away because I have been abused, disrespected and mistreated. This person actually believes in their little fantasy reality that I think I am better than them, i am stupid, just being judgemental. All of this rationalizing their behavior and begging sympathy and sowing lies as to what actually occured to place the blame on the victim. Hatred toward the victim and sudden mistrust of them and a desire for revenge. I think it is that they miss the attention and help you were giving them and when it is cut off they feel loss only in that they have been denied that and slighted in some way. Because you dont chase them and beg their forgiveness like a feeble dog this offends them. What in the BPD makes them do this and am I correct in why they do it. Just wondering because it is killing them and I really am kind of glad they get to suffer a little if that is what it is causing them because i wont go there again.

Through their own actions they have triggered their abandonment fears.  When a borderline is abandoned it is by all accounts excruciatingly painful even though by any reasonable standard they bought it on themselves.

You need to try and not blame her i know it's hard but you won't find closure that way. Acceptance should be your goal.  It was only ever going to end this way. That's the truth.

Protect yourself from her lies,  have faith in the truth. 

Try to move on in a positive light.  You can go many ways from here but the best way is to gain strength and knowledge of yourself and become a better you.

Don't give in to soul destroying anger or sorrow. No contact her and conduct yourself with dignity and self respect. 

Thanks; I needed that so much--must move toward acceptance, and I frequently told my best friend, "This has to end; it's not gonna be pretty when it does." I had no idea how it would end or how to end it. Instead, exbfBPD did it himself.