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I have an emergency stay of custody for my 10week old son.  My uBPD husband currently has supervised visitation.

We are both court ordered to undergo a psych eval to help determine custody.  My husband had his first visit with the counselor and told his attorney about how well it went and how happy he was to finally have his side of the story be heard.  He then wrote a mushy email to the psychologist saying how happy he was to be working with him and how he knows that he will be a great advocate for him and our son... .blah blah blah

My concern is that he will present well (which he can easily do) and that the psychologist will miss the true picture.  Do you think writing a mushy email to the court appointed psychologist looks good or bad? To me it seems like a boundaryy has been breached.  I know I would never do it.

My husband has already lied through his ugly teeth about everything and he will stop at nothing to get what he wants.  We will also be issued a personality test... .not sure which one.  Will this help to reveal his true nature?

Its uncanny because I am even questioning myself as to whether this is all too harsh.  Did I overreact?

My husband vacillates so freely between prince charming and the prince of darkness... .intellectually I know this but I still have this emotional tug.

If anyone is familiar with court ordered psych evals I could use some insight... .or even just encouragement... .I feel really depressed and weathered right now and I feel like that will show to the counselor and make me look bad... .ughhh

I have undergone two court ordered Psych evals. Do some research on the provider. My first evaluator was a certified forensic psych. I check around and found out she was pretty sketchy and pro female when it came to these things.  I had the first one pretty much impeached by recording her, she ended up recusing herself. My difficulty was the gender bias and backdoor communication between the provider and members of the family planning team. Further what complicated matters is my xBPDw was diagnosed in 2010 by a large university hospital and hid the fact. It was through a discovery motion that we got the records that later really debunked the glowing eval she gave my ex wife at the time. I filed a complaint with the state board, i had her on tape calling my ex wife " a borderline".

If you have documentation take it. Really ground yourself and be factual during the evaluation. Tell the truth... .period. Have your therapist communicate with the evaluator. If they refuse to talk to your therapist then have them document why. Remember they evaluation is about you not him. Use "I"statements and communicate about you.

Last, but not least, believe in yourself. Also ignore your husbands posturing.

You may want to have the court do an attachment evaluation. This is where a borderline will fail the litmus test and if he is spotted as a borderline he will be high risk.

B

If the MMPI-2 is being administered and I hope it is, the questionnaire has certain questions incorporated that allow a skilled evaluator to determine if the examiness is "presenting falsely," lying.  This is the part where you need to make sure that a well qualified Dr. is administering the test.  I am fighting my ex's bogus evaluation right now.  Mine was done by a well respected forensic psych.  He had also performed three other tests to supplement the MMPI-2.  If possible, your Order should state "why" the evaluation is being done, and include, if possible, any health or mental helath issues existing for your ex.  This will then allow the Dr. to administer the proper tests.  Some Dr's. will require that the order state why the tests are being administered.  Also state that a formal report is to be provided to both attorneys and that that report is to be kep confidential and not to be circulated to anyone but the attorneys.