BPDFamily.com

Could anyone explain to me what's the link between a pwBPD and violence?

When I was with my exBPDbf I came to many occasions in which he would drink and then become violent. Never towards me tho. But towards others. Innocent people. On one occasion after he had seen me for first time after 6 months NC he had a couple of drinks wirth me he was in a mood for a good scrap with someone. So he started hitting the table in the pub where we were and I had to take him away from there. When out in the street he just looked at me with cold eyes and punched a wall. Now the interesting bit was that prior to that we had had a lovely evening and everything was fine. We hadn't argued or anything.

My exBF became very violent when he drank.  He wasn't physically abusive but would become enraged and extremely verbally abusive. 

I don't think Violence is a trait of all pwBPD. It is probably his coping mechanism for the emotional turmoil he's dealing with. Some drink, some do drugs, some have sex, some rage, some speed, some shoplift the list goes on.

One thing they all seem to have in common though is that they get to a point where they have to release the build up of these emotions.

Enlighten me is correct. Violence isn't really a part of the disorder. But people with BPD do struggle with impulse control. So if they feel like doing something, most of the time they just do it. Combine that with extreme, intense, emotional lability, you can end up with someone that can easily become violent if that's their predilection. But it's really about each individual. Some people are violent, some are not. Some people with BPD are violent, some are not.


Also keep in mind, some people are just mean drunks. It's just how alcohol affects them. Does your ex become violent when sober, or is it just when drinking?

There's a thread on BPD and interpersonal violence (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=231378.0) on the Questions board.