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My uBPDw just now really raging on the phone about doctor she just saw. The doctor did not think she had what my wife thought she had. My wife spends hours online researching ailments, some of which I think she has, others that I doubt she has.

Is this common with pwBPD?

From other posts here on the subject yes it does seem quite common. My ex wife said she suffered from all sorts of ailments.

There are two lines of thought on this.

First that it is attention seeking.

Secondly that they could be suffering from something relating to their BPD.

Im a believer in the second one. This is due to the fact that their ailments are nearly all the same. Joint pain, headaches, anaemia, high blood pressure, thinning hair, brittle nails.

I personally believe that hormones play a large part in BPD. In particular cortisol which if elevated can lead to all of the above ailments.

There is also the third option that both apply.

I believe this is a common trait. My expBPD had overflowing medicine cabinets and complained of ailments ( that never really came to be anything) constantly. I believe it is attention seeking behavior to validate. I can also say that the very real times I had a health issue, it went entirely unnoticed. I once had minor surgery, to which he knew I was having. When I saw him after I had a very noticeable large dressing over the suture line. Not only did he not comment, it truly appeared he literally did not notice.  As if tunnel vision on only his needs. I recall waiting for him to comment in any way. Nothing .

I've have a conflicting view of this as I am exposed to my dBPDw and her uBPD mother and sister (her father was hospitalized for depression but that's another story) Her mother is addicted to WebMD and has the usual fibromyagia, migraines, etc and is always seeing one doctor or another. Her sister is certain that the root of all her ills is gluten and meat (not the laxitives she abused for years) and is very adverse to any medical interventions and medications that are not homeopathic and then there is my wife who I get to hear her list of ills and pains and often get irritated because the majority are real and need to be treated, (several concussions leading to TBI, anemia, and periodontis as a result of her bulemia, severe asthma) yet she insists on avoiding medical treatments until she's so distressed that I have to nearly drag her to an ER.

Recently though she has started to accept that modern medicine is able to help her and is getting treatment for all of the above ailments and injuries.


I have a similar experience with this. I has the good fortune to be very healthy and active. I rarely get sick, however when I do it seems to knock me down hard. She doesn't seem to get it and I have had times that when my son was out of school I would watch him while feverish and sick and let her leave because I knew that if she didn't leave I would never get the rest I needed to get better and that she would only start getting on me and saying that I'm a baby when sick.