BPDFamily.com

Im in the beginning  of NC but I feel a strong urge to confront my BPD about something. To be blunt I have concern for her kids. She was involved in an incestuous relationship with a cousin 40 years older (she is 44 he is 74) than her and would take the kids to his home at times and she is showing signs of being back to doing this. She is a heavy drinker and MJ user as well. My concern is her kids exposure to this behavior. Im doing my best with NC but dont want to see kids exposed to this sick behavior. Do I say something or just remain disengaged?

I'm in a similar situation where the mother is leaving the 6 yo child at all hours of the night to go do whatever it is that she is doing between midnight and 8am. Since I'm not quite moved out yet and all she will do is rage on me, I wasn't going to confront her with it. I was just going to have a talk with her parents and let them know what's going on for my own piece of mind. Then they can do what they want to with the information. My ex relies on her parents a good bit and they live 5 minutes down the road. I have been struggling with if I should tell her parents or not. If my ex finds out I told them, then I will probably never see her or her kids ever again. But if I don't tell her parents and something happens to her or her kids, then I will feel responsible and would never forgive myself.

So, what's the consensus? Get involved or go/stay NC?

If the children are in danger then consider contacting social services. Do not contact your BPD ex and tell her your concerns,  that would be an absurd action to take.

Whitey and Fred, say nothing directly to your ex or their parents.  Fred, do call social services and make a report.  You will be anonymous and those kids need to be protected and who knows, this may lead to your exes getting some help.