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Weird dream last night:

My ex, me and her friends were out on a daytrip. We were having a good time. Suddenly she left for a few hours and none of us knew were she was. After a while she appears again with a shoppingbag.

I ask her what she bought. She says:

Oh a nice dress for tonights party and a CD for you. I ask her which one, she says:

The album "Never let me down again" (which is from a band we both like... .)

Yes, i let her down recently by not giving in to her manipulating conversation a week ago... .Which was so full of all the techniques she used for a few years to pull me back in and to stay around as her stable safetynet. I'm glad i see it all like it is. Face the facts. And i choose no longer to be her sidewalk.

Its just so hard to stop the memories on the good and loving times we had. 

Hi Icecream, it is hard to stop the memories.  Dreams still bring mine to surface as well.  The subconscious speaks in our dreams while the logical mind rests.  Sending you 

Thank you Caredverymuch 

We try so hard to take ours lives back in our control. We are on a good path for sure heading towards much better times. But it seems that during dreaming the logical mind has no control, it creates a story by itself or releases/fantasies... daily-life situations and every time you wake up it keeps you daydreaming again.

Somehow i try to look for the lesson in it or if the mind has a self-maintaining purpose during dreaming and this way we should feel better in the morning... .

Nothing i've experienced before had that much inpact on me then what happend with her.

Take care all of you!

If that was in deed David Bowie's worst ever album there in her bag, then the dream is open for a whole new interpretation  lol

Very true.  For me, the logic of having to learn so much about the disorder after being left with no closure and fully erased has been a good deal of emotional work.  I do understand much more so now as well as understanding how and why I was drawn to this type of bond. All the logical effort has been done on my own and clearly continues.  Whats hard is the subconscious.  Bc despite all we know, this was a person I loved a great deal who came into my life in great big ways and then just left and bcame someone else who ignores my existence.  Thats all stuff the subconscious cant suppress despite the knowledge base.