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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: NeedHelpPls on September 14, 2014, 11:23:01 PM



Title: Walking the talk, or walking the writing
Post by: NeedHelpPls on September 14, 2014, 11:23:01 PM
Quick question I would like to pose to you lovely people who had it rough with their BPD partner.

Thinking back to my relationship, the reason why I fell so hard was the way she writes.

we would exchange emails frequently, and boy can she write.

most thoughtful, deep, things that showed what kind of person she was.

but what really confused me was that, the way she behaved...

it almost felt like another person wrote those emails and letters.


all the sweet apologies, promises, but rarely is it followed up by action.


she was such an eloquent writer, but i realized most of the thoughtful things

were actually quoted from books.


does anyone have similar experience? where you would be showered with thoughtful notes,

letters, messages, and feel like the one who wrote them and who you are dating are

two different people?


Title: Re: Walking the talk, or walking the writing
Post by: Mutt on September 15, 2014, 12:11:29 AM
Not so much with email communiqués personally. A valuable lesson I learned that is so true with my ex. Take away the words. Look at the actions. Her actions speak for themselves.


Title: Re: Walking the talk, or walking the writing
Post by: hope2727 on September 15, 2014, 06:26:14 PM
Yes my fiancee was and is a wordsmith. He is eloquent and refined with his writing. A poet at heart. But his actions were another matter. Somedays devoted and some days out of control, manipulating and cruel. It left me traumatized and shattered and I am only now slowly healing.


Title: Re: Walking the talk, or walking the writing
Post by: Mr Hollande on September 15, 2014, 06:35:53 PM
Mine is dyslexic and can't spell or write for ___. She sometimes had a very odd way of expressing herself. Now, with the benefit of hindsight, I wonder if her inability to understand feelings and emotions has something to do with it.


Title: Re: Walking the talk, or walking the writing
Post by: caprice on September 15, 2014, 06:56:44 PM
Mine could write.  Oh boy could he ever write.  Others was a very sexual relationship so most things were dirty and naughty but when he started professing his love, it was amazing.  And yes sometimes he would send quotes from songs.  Ouch.  I did find out later that he said some very similar things to an ex girlfriend of his. 

He also sent me songs... .plenty and plenty of love songs.  Everything on the radio reminds me of him because he used to send so many of them to me.  It hurts still.