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Title: We may not be so different after all. Post by: Vatz on September 15, 2014, 11:42:50 PM So I'm going back on antidepressants.
Welbutrin is what I'll be taking. My doctor wants to see how I respond to it before putting me on Adderall. He thinks part of my day-to-day life stuff may not just be depression. Sort of makes sense, I don't like it though. I guess I'm more willing to accept that I'm lazy and undisciplined than having ADHD. Looking back, it comes together. But I feel like somehow even entertaining the notion is just making excuses for my poor choices. That like my BPDEx, I'm just looking for another thing to blame my problems on. I don't. I hold myself accountable, or so I think. It's like crazy people don't know they're crazy, right? So a lazy, slovenly, untalented schmuck wouldn't think himself as such, and a schmuck I may truly be. Can't trust my thoughts. I didn't suggest it to the doc, he sort of just said "You show a number of symptoms of ADHD, and I think this will help. But you need to be willing to take that step." Title: Re: We may not be so different after all. Post by: fromheeltoheal on September 16, 2014, 08:40:49 AM Excerpt So a lazy, slovenly, untalented schmuck wouldn't think himself as such, and a schmuck I may truly be. Can't trust my thoughts. Been there man. Our beliefs about ourselves have more impact on our lives than anything; who we say we are, what identities we assign ourselves, informs our entire lives. It's also easy to get hung up on the emotions of the moment, our day to day thoughts, and lose track of the big picture. One thing that's been helping me lately is to reconnect with my values, and live from there, live them. That allows me to move forward in the directions I've chosen regardless of the current circumstances and emotions of the day. Plus, although pharmaceuticals can be helpful in the right circumstances, we can't create the life of our dreams with chemicals, only the illusion of one. You didn't ask me for advice, but it may be good to get other sources of input beyond a medical doctor, who tend to be quick with the scrip pad when there's discontent. So what are your values? What's most important to you? Which ones are more important than others? It's fun and productive to make a list and then prioritize it, with your most important value at the top, and then ask yourself: how would someone with these values in this order behave? What would they have to believe about themselves and the world? Also, what values do you have no use for, have no place in your life? Are we much more than we're currently exhibiting sometimes? What if we haven't had our best days yet? Take care of you! |