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So this is a new one on me, at least at this level.

I fell asleep on the sofa earlier and in my dreams I was laying on the sofa and BPDex was there. I probably don't need to explain further but suffice it to say it was the most intense dream I think I have ever had. I was FULLY lucid,  it felt REAL.

I woke up into a hell of a state. I have full recall of the dream as though it actually happened, I can remember every detail,  the feel of her on me. Every touch.  Everything.

So,  so strange and the after effect is like I feel like I actually slept with her today.

Can anyone relate to this? I never want to experience that again, it was heaven in the dream and hell when I woke.

Perhaps it's your subconscious need/desire for that to be real.

Do you fear losing control?  Fear that you made the wrong decision? Feel uncertain about your future?

I've only had one dream that involved my husband it was not a good one.  In my dream I walked into the kitchen and he was unpacking my moving boxes and putting things back.  He was attaching my beautiful spice rack to the wall and ran up to him asking what he was doing and grabbed the rack from his hands.  I noticed that the rack was stained and the wood was damaged.  I thought to myself how everything he touches of mine, he ruins and destroys. 

I hope I never have a romantic dream about him.  I doubt I would because frankly, I haven't been intimate with him in years because I can't even fathom such an experience with an abusive man.  The thought of it makes me ill . 

Been there and am still being haunted most mornings by these sort of dreams. It's the worst. Takes me by surprise and leaves me feeling desperate and an emotional wreak.

Not a good way to start the day. I'm hoping they will stop for good soon. I don't want her in my head.

I've started to spend a little time before going to sleep addressing this issue. What I do is get a mental picture of her in my head. Then I tell her she no longer has a place within me and that she must leave. It's starting to work. This morning was the first morning I haven't woke with her in my dream.

The only dream I can vaguely remember having of her since she left, although the details are lost, was one where everything was weirdly normal. What that means I'm not sure. Maybe the opposite. I don't care about dreams of her anyway. I miss what I thought it was but what she actually is is so disgusting and wretched to me I'd never let her touch me again.

What concerns me more is the lack of sleep I've had since. I go to bed and I am tired, very tired even, but I keep waking up several times every night and very often before my usual 8 hours. I used to be a good sleeper but I'm not any more and it's starting to take its toll.