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Title: BPDex left me for another? Post by: Algae on September 18, 2014, 02:56:18 AM Simple question...
So once a BPDex with a HUGE history of mirroring/splitting/etc. leaves you for another... .is that it? Book Closed? Never coming back? (Not that I'd want them too I'm just wondering). Even if everything they have in common with the new guy is just mirrored? So again... thats it? Theyre never going to try and contact you again, even if youre NC? Title: Re: BPDex left me for another? Post by: Infern0 on September 18, 2014, 03:23:11 AM Simple question... So once a BPDex with a HUGE history of mirroring/splitting/etc. leaves you for another... .is that it? Book Closed? Never coming back? (Not that I'd want them too I'm just wondering). Even if everything they have in common with the new guy is just mirrored? So again... thats it? Theyre never going to try and contact you again, even if youre NC? Don't bet on it. The new relationship is almost guaranteed to fail and when it does, if she hasn't got someone else to latch onto she will start recycling and more than likely you will be contacted. In fact even if her options are running low then she might try to put you in triangulation. It's variable on a lot of things but if you are the best option for supply then she will try to come back. Title: Re: BPDex left me for another? Post by: Algae on September 18, 2014, 03:29:47 AM Simple question... So once a BPDex with a HUGE history of mirroring/splitting/etc. leaves you for another... .is that it? Book Closed? Never coming back? (Not that I'd want them too I'm just wondering). Even if everything they have in common with the new guy is just mirrored? So again... thats it? Theyre never going to try and contact you again, even if youre NC? Don't bet on it. The new relationship is almost guaranteed to fail and when it does, if she hasn't got someone else to latch onto she will start recycling and more than likely you will be contacted. In fact even if her options are running low then she might try to put you in triangulation. It's variable on a lot of things but if you are the best option for supply then she will try to come back. Whats triangulation though... like she might contact me while shes still with this douche just to make sure she has a backup? And yeah, she has 0 friends and never gets asked out so she has no options. My fear is that she'll come crying back to me... and I'll either NC her or tell her "Youre gonna Get help but im done." And she'll just lie and go back to the douche. She just looks so happy right now even though I have her in NC. It just has my mind stressing with anxiety on, "wow She just up and left. Is she even Thinking about what she did to me... or thinking about me at ALL?". Thanks for your replies. Title: Re: BPDex left me for another? Post by: Infern0 on September 18, 2014, 03:55:00 AM BPD cannot stand to be exclusive in a relationship for very long at all in most cases. Triangulation is where there is a third person in the dynamic. Be it an affair, someone in backup or someone to have an emotional affair with. If there isn't any of that on the table they usually start to feel trapped and that's another reason why they reach out.
They are chronic for trying to friendzone guys, it's what happened to me, she had gone to a replacement, but wanted me to be friends and get back together later. At the time I didn't know she was BPD and so this was ludicrous to me and I spent so long trying to explain why that was ___ed up but couldn't get through to her. Now I know why! |