BPDFamily.com

So I have been working through old wounds from my first borderline relationship. A lot of tears and pain. Overwhelming anxiety. There was a period their that seemed like stagnation. Then boom it hits me. I often wish I had a really close Friend to reach out to confide in but I don't right now. In so many ways I wish I could reach out I exs from my past to talk about this stuff with. I reached out to that ex and she in a round about BPD way acknowledge her issues and where she is at through projection. The thing is I understand she knew what I was seeking and did her best to communicate it in her BPD way. She couldn't say sorry because she hasn't forgiven herself yet. I asked her to say sorry a second time and she told me I can't force her to say anything. At the same time she did acknowledge her issues and how she related to them.

Did you know what you were going through at the time, or is the pain and anguish something in retrospect? The reason I ask is that I had no idea! It took me 14 years to figure out how damaging it was for me, and walk out the door.

I knew.  The thing is I trully loved that girl. I didn't know what borerline personality disorder was though. The thing was I locked away some of those emotions in my core and burried them there.

I talked to her the other day she's in therapy now. She blamed me for everything but she did tell me and gave me the answers I was looking for in a BPD way.

I've put two and two together that the anger I've buried comes out in passive aggressive ways, and enables the cycle to continue.

So I'm considering the "wisemind" and how to spend more time with mine. Was it therpaeutic to get the answers you were looking for?"