BPDFamily.com

Hi There,

Just to let you know that I've only been a member since 8th Sept 2014.

I sometimes feel depressed when I take to heart my BPDw's insults and criticism of me. Trying to make the 33 year old marriage peaceful and happy with my wife and experiencing failure after failure also brings on a feeling of hopeless despair.

I seem to feel better when I am away from her. Is this what is meant by situational depression?

I recently had my own Serotonin levels checked and they were fine. My BPDw's level was 18 which is currently being treated medically. But the doctors seem to be taking a long time to get the dangerously low level to improve. I wonder why? Could be the Graves disease and hyperthyroidism she has been diagnosed with.

Everything in the marriage is still a big mess. I'm also concerned that should I decide to leave the marriage relationship my BPDw may do something harmful to me or herself. She has already threatened to do this, on more than one occasion.

She's been to a Psychologist and a different Physiatrist a few times, after some motivation from me, but this does not seem to help either.

So times are tough at the moment, and I certainly NOW understand the meaning of the words " In Sickness and in Health" when I took my marriage vows 33 years ago. I don't think I did then. Amazing!

Hello, Lucky One... .I think it's certainly possible that your Depression is situational, and I also know that your wife's Graves Disease/Hyperactive Thyroid certainly exacerbates her BPD. I know this because my adult (37) son, who was diagnosed with BPD in early 2013, was also diagnosed with Graves Disease years before, and I can see how it made his BPD so much worse before treatment.

Is your wife being treated for the Hyperactive Thyroid? My son lost a dangerous amount of weight, became dangerously Depressed (became suicidal), and couldn't get out of bed in the morning to accomplish anything. Once the Graves Disease was treated, it really did help him physically, emotionally and mentally. I hope your wife is getting help for that... .

Have you had the chance to read any of the links to the right-hand side of this page? I'd start with this: Lessons for members who are staying in their relationships (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=56206.0). Though you cannot control your wife or her BPD behaviors, you can control how you communicate with her, and lots of us have found that once we stop pushing every one of our BPD loved one's buttons, things can get at least a little bit better.

Is your wife still in Therapy with a Psychologist and/or Psychiatrist? If so, please know that it takes more than just a few sessions for her to start seeing changes. My son has been in recovery since March 2013 (Out-Patient, Psychiatrist, DBT, and Neurofeedback Therapy since April 2013), and is still in his various treatments. I don't see him being able to stop them anytime soon, but I do see his progress and he is the happiest and healthiest he has been since he was a young boy. And the family is a lot happier as a result... .

Can you tell us a bit more about your situation? I'm so sorry that things are so tough right now, but I want to let you know that there is a lot of support and insights to be found on this site, and things really can get better 

Can you go into more detail?

If you read my first two posts as a Newbie on my profile you'll see what I mean when I say things are tough.

But things are easing a bit, basically because of what I'm learning on this website and from the support and encouragement we get from you guys. Thanks so much.

I'm going to start looking after myself and my own health from now on, so that I can become happier within myself. I'm so sad at the moment and have been for a long time.

I've registered to do a CBT - Cognitive Behavioural Therapy course through the University of Australia online, and have completed 40 % of it already.

"What I think is definitely What I feel" so I can relate to this course 100 %

Before I came to this website I wasn't even aware that such a thing existed.

I'm very pleasantly surprised and pleased with what I 've found here, whatever my final outcome will be.

Best Wishes to You.