BPDFamily.com

I am blown away by how much stuff I have to collect for the mandatory disclosure.  I have a stack of paper 8" tall already and not even done!

I am curious how all this information about monthly budgets on the Financial Affidavit form is going to be used.  This is really pretty detailed and I could fill out my monthly budget the way I was living (negative cashflow b/c my wife's spending).  The way I am living (extremely frugally with no rent or utilities expense etc... .living with family during the seperation)  or how I will be living (renting an apt with bigger rent than my mortgage) etc. 

For instance we used to spend $50 per month on drycleaning, half of that was my shirts.  Since separating, I just iron my shirts so my historical dry cleaning budget was $50 since I make all the money, only half of that was mine, so do I put down $25?  Do I put down $0 because I am not spending any now and want to seem low maintanance, or do I put down $40 for me so it looks like I have a less of an ability to pay for alimony support. 

I am generally wanting to be accurate on all this stuff, but depending on how this gets used, it makes a difference.

Fill it out based on what you can live with going forward, not the short-term stop-gap way you're living now.

For some stuff - dry-cleaning is a good example - if it's a sensible expense associated with the lifestyle you're used to, include it.  If it's extravagant and you know you'll have to quit spending that money, don't include it - you don't want to look foolish or unfair.

For example, if your plan going forward is to rent a two-bedroom apartment, check out a few, and put down enough to cover rent and the utilities you'll have to pay for.

Think hard to make sure you include everything.  More items with fewer $ per item will look thorough and frugal, but a few items with lots of $ on each will look extravagant.

And if you're not sure about something, or your attorney questions it, do some research, like finding out what apartments cost, or calling the power company to ask the average cost of electricity for an apartment of a certain size.  This will also prepare you to look at what your wife submits and call foul if her numbers aren't reasonable.

i filled out mine based on my expenses for the past year (since d-day), which were different from and greater than what they had been for the seven years before that (the marriage). however, these are also the expenses i'm going to have for the foreseeable. and i worried about what i claimed for, ee.gg., dry cleaning, dining out, vacations. but these were my actual expenses, which i can defend, and i was pleasantly surprised when my L called them "very reasonable". so yes include everything. toothpaste, haircuts, transportation costs, alcohol (don't be embarrassed: two bottles of wine/week is healthy for you and should come to $100/month), magazine subscriptions, books, gifts, weekly religious donations, all the categories. if you spend it, include it. if in doubt, ask your L.