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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: Hopeless777 on September 20, 2014, 11:54:30 AM



Title: She broke NC
Post by: Hopeless777 on September 20, 2014, 11:54:30 AM
Out of the blue I get a text from my BPDw with just her e-mail address in it. I've been NC for over two months now. I'm being deposed on Monday in divorce proceeding. Coincidence, mistake, or she's just crazy? I was tempted to respond with "I know your e-mail address." But this would be an NC break on my part. Hard not to respond after a 27+ marriage. I need wisdom and strength. Ideas?


Title: Re: She broke NC
Post by: Confused? on September 20, 2014, 11:59:56 AM
In my experience during no contact it's a feeler from her. Mine used to call me and act like I called her and she was calling me back. Or she would text me something that was clearly intended for someone else such as using a different persons name. Everytime I answered it was a big mistake cuz it led into more conversation that ultimately made me feel either sad or angry. Stay strong. No contact is the only way. Show her you are over her or you will be stuck in the fog for the rest of your life. Nothing good could come out of breaking no contact.


Title: Re: She broke NC
Post by: Lights843 on September 20, 2014, 12:54:20 PM
She's seeing if you're hot or cold. It's a feeler like Confused said. The best course of action you could have taken is none at all so good job with that. My exBPDw didn't take our final divorce hearing seriously either but I have to assume she was also strung out on something.

I almost think that deep down they don't want to go through with it but aren't sure how to handle it emotionally. So instead they will just call your bluff so to speak.


Title: Re: She broke NC
Post by: Hopeless777 on September 20, 2014, 09:01:47 PM
Mistake or intentional? It was an iMessage to me that just had her email address in it; typed incorrectly I might add. She couldn't have typed in my phone number to send it, because that would show intention. And I seriously doubt she "accidentally" called up our last text message session from more than two months ago and sent it. So to me it sounds intentional... .but why? Just fishing for a response from me where she can respond back that it was a mistake? Too weird!


Title: Re: She broke NC
Post by: Algae on September 20, 2014, 11:00:05 PM
Mistake or intentional? It was an iMessage to me that just had her email address in it; typed incorrectly I might add. She couldn't have typed in my phone number to send it, because that would show intention. And I seriously doubt she "accidentally" called up our last text message session from more than two months ago and sent it. So to me it sounds intentional... .but why? Just fishing for a response from me where she can respond back that it was a mistake? Too weird!

Well I just thought id point out that since it's an iMessage like you said(Blue text boxes)... she 'knows' if you looked at the message or not.

At the bottom of her message that she sent, it's going to tell her, ":)elivered"  if you recieved it.  Or "Read" of you opened the message.


Title: Re: She broke NC
Post by: Hopeless777 on September 21, 2014, 07:51:25 PM
Mistake or intentional? It was an iMessage to me that just had her email address in it; typed incorrectly I might add. She couldn't have typed in my phone number to send it, because that would show intention. And I seriously doubt she "accidentally" called up our last text message session from more than two months ago and sent it. So to me it sounds intentional... .but why? Just fishing for a response from me where she can respond back that it was a mistake? Too weird!

Well I just thought id point out that since it's an iMessage like you said(Blue text boxes)... she 'knows' if you looked at the message or not.

At the bottom of her message that she sent, it's going to tell her, ":)elivered"  if you recieved it.  Or "Read" of you opened the message.

Well yes... .that is true. Of course, I haven't responded in any other way. I just think its a very weird but intentional way to reach out. The more I try to figure out why my BPDw does what she does, the more incredulous I become. It all just makes no sense.


Title: Re: She broke NC
Post by: Hopeless777 on September 22, 2014, 08:45:43 PM
So today was deposition day. She and her lawyer. Me and my lawyer. Waiting for me are four laundered shirts she seemed to think had to be delivered. Years ago I bought my son a cross, the chain of which he broke. Always meant to get it fixed, but just threw it in the back of my desk drawer. Today at the deposition, she hands it to her lawyer, who hands it to my lawyer, who gives it to me. What the heck does this mean? First an "errant" text message, now a cross. I can't figure it out and want to ask her but that means breaking NC over possibly her just being cruel. I can't let her know she has this hold on me! What does this all mean?


Title: Re: She broke NC
Post by: Chasing_Ghosts on September 22, 2014, 08:55:44 PM
So today was deposition day. She and her lawyer. Me and my lawyer. Waiting for me are four laundered shirts she seemed to think had to be delivered. Years ago I bought my son a cross, the chain of which he broke. Always meant to get it fixed, but just threw it in the back of my desk drawer. Today at the deposition, she hands it to her lawyer, who hands it to my lawyer, who gives it to me. What the heck does this mean? First an "errant" text message, now a cross. I can't figure it out and want to ask her but that means breaking NC over possibly her just being cruel. I can't let her know she has this hold on me! What does this all mean?

Sounds like shes just messing with your head mate... and its working. Pay it no mind for her actions have no explanation as she is chaos in carnate. There is no end to justify her means.

Sorry shes getting head space... its simply maddening when they do.


Title: Re: She broke NC
Post by: Hopeless777 on September 23, 2014, 01:31:41 PM
So today was deposition day. She and her lawyer. Me and my lawyer. Waiting for me are four laundered shirts she seemed to think had to be delivered. Years ago I bought my son a cross, the chain of which he broke. Always meant to get it fixed, but just threw it in the back of my desk drawer. Today at the deposition, she hands it to her lawyer, who hands it to my lawyer, who gives it to me. What the heck does this mean? First an "errant" text message, now a cross. I can't figure it out and want to ask her but that means breaking NC over possibly her just being cruel. I can't let her know she has this hold on me! What does this all mean?

Sounds like shes just messing with your head mate... and its working. Pay it no mind for her actions have no explanation as she is chaos in carnate. There is no end to justify her means.

Sorry shes getting head space... its simply maddening when they do.

But even in the disordered head of a BPD there has to be some logic, twisted maybe, but something. Does she want me to contact her? Is she just being cruel? Or is it just general craziness? I'm afraid to find out. Now I just live in psychological fear.