BPDFamily.com

My BPDh is ALWAYS groggy/incoherent first thing in the morning. He hardly speaks at all, every morning and almost never has any energy upon awakening... .even after 8-10 hours sleep. He usually goes to bed very early and sleeps as long as possible (several snoozes) before having to get up to go work.  He's always been this way, even before our marriage hit the skids. He's not a drinker so it's not that.

I'll admit that his lethargy is a downer, to me sunrise is a great time of day, a new beginning and so much promise for good things to happen. I don't bother him with trying to talk, he is clearly irritated when I make conversation with him... .complete with eye rolls, sighs, and emotional dismissal. So I gave up talking and we exist like roommates now. If he talks, that's great, if not... .oh well. Its highly unusual for him to say anything except, "Bye, have a nice day" as he walks out the door. I gave up cooking breakfast for him a long time ago... .it made him feel guilty that I did something nice for him. He's uncomfortable with me doing nice things and always seems surprised.

He's quiet most of the evening too, not much energy.

I'm just wondering if morning grogginess is part of the BPD dynamic.

Experiences?

My uBPDexw wasn't a morning person and struggled getting up. My uBPDexgf was always up in the morning but in a frenzy of rushing around.

I don't think grogginess is a sign just human nature. Some people just aren't morning people.

You are probably right. Everyone is different. Thanks for the reply.

His energy in the morning seems more like he just doesn't want to face another day... .like every day is going to be a huge burden that he dreads.

There does seem to be a problem with insomnia with BPD. Does he have restless sleep? Or does he go to bed late?

As I said before everyones different but my ex wife used to use herbal sleeping tablets all the time. She would get a good 10-11 hours a night and still wake up feeling tired. I personally only need 6 hours. I think the more dysregulated they are feeling the more restless their sleep is.

He often stays up late on his phone, but that's on the weekends when he can sleep in (also dealing with porn addiction issues but that's another thread). Restless sleep, I don't know. In the past 2 yrs he's gained 30 pounds which brought on very loud snoring, but not sure if that means not sleeping well.

During the work week he goes to bed very early. It never matters, he's always tired in the morning.

Im No doctor but weight gain and lethargy sounds a bit like a thyroid problem. My sister was the same. Very lethargic and piled on the weight.

He does have thyroid issues and is on meds. But he has been for about 5 years and is monitored by the doctor. The weight gain is probably because he stopped working out and/or running 2 years ago.