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Title: Is this typical? return of gifts/elimination of history? Post by: AlonelyOne on September 22, 2014, 09:54:50 AM Does your ex-BPD spouse endeavor to eliminate the existence of your memory from their life?
This week my S2BX dropped off some items, including a bag with her wedding band, some jewelry I bought her, and a few other gifts and trinkets. Over the past month or two, my wife has returned nearly every love letter, note, and gift I gave her during our 10 year relationship. I guess she's just trying to eliminate any memory of me. Is this normal? Did others go through this experience? I guess in some ways, it is good. I look back on who I was, how I tried to love her, how she just couldn't receive it. But it does stir up the emotional waters. When I looked at those items I just broke down sobbing in the kitchen. Title: Re: Is this typical? return of gifts/elimination of history? Post by: momtara on September 22, 2014, 10:29:29 AM Sounds like she's trying to provoke you. It's a sad thing to do. Maybe she can't handle the guilt... .
Title: Re: Is this typical? return of gifts/elimination of history? Post by: ForeverDad on September 22, 2014, 01:09:57 PM I know it's not much of a bright side, apparently she wants you to know she feels it's over - out of sight, out of mind - but at least she didn't trash them. I believe my ex sold her rings, wedding dress and who knows what else. I kept the house so most contents are still here, she got her marital equity. She's still claimed poverty all these years.
Title: Re: Is this typical? return of gifts/elimination of history? Post by: livednlearned on September 22, 2014, 06:14:03 PM I left my ex 4 years ago and he still sends things of mine to "purge" them from the home. Stuff that is clearly junk, but that is somehow associated with me. Like hair elastics, a used bar of my soap. Nothing of value. He even sent an old grocery list I wrote.
It's intended to hurt you while staying engaged. It sounds like it is having an effect. Do you still have unresolved feelings for her? Title: Re: Is this typical? return of gifts/elimination of history? Post by: AlonelyOne on September 23, 2014, 01:24:22 PM Do you still have unresolved feelings for her? Yes, in an odd way. Basically, there is a woman I loved, and still do love. And there is a woman who is mean, cruel, evil and ill. And I really hate the latter, or perhaps just don't care for her in the least. The former, rarely comes out anymore. There are times, post separation that I'll still see that "person", but it's as if she's been murdered. Most of the time, the only "person" inside of her is that other one. So most of the time, I don't feel love toward her anymore. Because, in my mind... .there are two separate persons. Yet, the one I love, the one that has grown increasingly less apparent over the years. That one still has many threads to my heart. There is also a loss and yearning that arises from the broken dreams. The attempts to love. Which is where these things hurt most deeply. The shattered dreams and hopes I had for us. :-( Title: Re: Is this typical? return of gifts/elimination of history? Post by: walksoftly on September 23, 2014, 01:29:26 PM Oh yes!
After she cheated on me and demanded I leave the family home she said " You can have the bed." My replacement was in the house the day I left the house. She sends me empty picture frames, returned my books in garbage bags, the list goes on; threw my clothes in the back of my truck. For some strange reason I refuse to take my old belongings (the possessions I had before I met her) I think I am trying to make a statement as in Im not materialistic. It made her very angry that I wouldnt take my possessions- |