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Title: Do they try to repress and avoid upcoming significant dates? Post by: lipstick on September 22, 2014, 04:06:30 PM Hi family,
Just thinking that it's approaching the two-year "anniversary" date for when I was discarded by my exBPDbf. I can't believe two years have gone by ! Anyway - I'm wondering if our exes try to avoid thinking about certain dates / events by throwing themselves into something as a distraction? According to a mutual friend - my ex has now suddenly come back to life on Facebook in the last two weeks. After close to two years of almost zero activity. Now he's furiously posting pictures of the landscape around his home - sharing links - reposting humorous cartoons, etc... It's at a very frenzied pace and goes on a.m. & p.m... We are less than two weeks away from the "official" date. My friend thinks that it's the ex trying not to think about the upcoming "anniversary" date. That it bothers him since he's never actually dealt with his feelings. And this is his way of soothing. I don't know - it's been two years. Any thoughts on this would be appreciated. I'm curious if anyone else has experienced anything similar? Thx! Title: Re: Do they try to repress and avoid upcoming significant dates? Post by: freedom33 on September 22, 2014, 05:05:04 PM It could be a million things... .No one can succesfully mind read a BPD. Doing so is a slippery slope that drives a man (or a woman) at the precipice of sanity overlooking the abyss. This, not sex or looks, but this can be the main hook and obsession with the BPD for people that are understanding driven. What helped me get out of the torture chamber was to follow Johny Depp's motto 'don't complain, don't explain... .'
Title: Re: Do they try to repress and avoid upcoming significant dates? Post by: OutOfEgypt on September 23, 2014, 11:09:08 AM Probably. But if I may be so blunt... .who cares? If you are no longer with him and are trying to continue to break away emotionally, how does thinking about his emotional state and emotional motivation and activity do anything good to help you? Tell your friend to stop sharing what he's doing. It only hurts you by fueling your rumination about him. And if you are asking your friend to tell you what he's doing, stop it. Unless you really want to try to go back to him and work it out, let him go.
Let it go and please continue to find your own life and footing in this world. One of the most difficult aspects of our relationships with our BPD partners is that we begin to think their thoughts for them. It's like we live off of them emotionally, like a symbiotic parasitic relationship. They suck the life out of us and want someone who will allow them to live in our minds, and we oblige them because it beats actually standing on our own two feet in this world. We would rather think *their* life and their thoughts and feelings than our own. Title: Re: Do they try to repress and avoid upcoming significant dates? Post by: freedom33 on September 23, 2014, 12:27:13 PM Let it go and please continue to find your own life and footing in this world. One of the most difficult aspects of our relationships with our BPD partners is that we begin to think their thoughts for them. It's like we live off of them emotionally, like a symbiotic parasitic relationship. They suck the life out of us and want someone who will allow them to live in our minds, and we oblige them because it beats actually standing on our own two feet in this world. We would rather think *their* life and their thoughts and feelings than our own. Brilliantly said! Title: Re: Do they try to repress and avoid upcoming significant dates? Post by: lipstick on September 23, 2014, 04:19:15 PM OutofEgypt,
Thank you for the sage advice. It is appreciated. I just still have my days where I feel the sting of the discard. And with the anniversary date approaching - it got me thinking (unfortunately). |