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She would say that the devil has a lot of influence over her,  things like that

When she was going nuts about joining some church and how it was going to instantly solve all her problems she was raving that God was going to keep the devil away from her

Anyone else have anything similar?  Devils and demons?

How on earth did I stand for this and qualify it as not a big deal

Howdy Infern0!

Your name is eerily applicable to this topic  :).

Mine was a witch. And I dont mean that in an insulting way, she was self proclaimed. Scared to death of anything Egyptian, did some kind of summoning once that went wrong. I had a couple of decorative pieces, had to hide them before she would come into the room.

I dont recall anything about demons, but she did freak out once because she thought a ghost was watching us have sex. Jumped up, got half dressed on the way to the car and took off.

A unique personality.

Mine used to call me crying saying that there was a ghost watching her.  She'd tell me stories about how it would watch her while she slept and felt better with me on the phone.

I've seen my ex pleading with the disorder like talking to it and I could only hear her side of the conversation.  This is when she got so triggered and dusregulated that the abandoned child fully surfaced and she felt guilty about everything she had ever done going around trying to make amends.

Thats terrible, bimbam. She sounds like she was in a lot of pain. Everyone with a PD is suffering, put to actually witness that must have been heartbreaking.

When my ex was 12 she witnessed her friend getting ran over by a train. She would always talk about how his ghost followed her. Things in my and her rooms would go missing or be moved and shed blame it on him messing with her. I wonder how much of this was not my exs lack of cognition when possibly disassociating, the massive amount of pot smoking, or a lie to cover her kleptomania. Ive noticed they never get over death much like a child as shed talk about him all the time along with dates and anniversaries of various other friends who died or commited suicide. Always sad those days... Shes had alot of loss in her life and i think a child is not emotionally developed to handle such milestone. 

Also mine was scared of the dark and claimed to see and hear demons in the darkness that would torment her. Much like a child with monsters under the bed id have to reassure her there was nothing to be afraid of after tucking her in. That poor girls trauma not only has internalized causing her pain but has externalized into a a regular hell on earth.

Yes mine had a brief stint where she went to church with my mother and went super christian overload for a week. Even going as far to tell me she couldnt see herself dating a guy that wasnt into it like her. Then dropped it all when she tried reading the bible and couldnt understand it at all. So god got devalued i guess...    

She oddly stated one time she liked my beard and eyes because it looked "evil"... never understood this one to this day. Also commented that i looked "evil" when id get angry like her father... projection i suppose.

Oh and once had a dream where a skeleton creature and various other demons were getting ready to torture her as she was being processed to enter hell.

Such a tortured soul.

Mine wouldn't say anything quite so drastic but when we were talking about her drinking she did say that she liked to drink because it let her be her "bad" side-- gave her license to be that somehow. She said some other stuff around that that was pretty disturbing, but I think I blocked it because I can't quite remember now.

Yes, the person across the street from him committed suicide. He said he had conversations there, and they were not good. Well,  someone in the house I live in did the same,  and they don't chat with me... ..:)

Yeah it was really hard.  It's still hard.  But that's how I know she's not empty inside that girl wants to be saved it's so sad. The disorder is like a curruption of the mind like a psychopath entered it and took control and holds her hostage inside a world of torment. 

This just made me tear up... :'(

Im sorry you had to experience that mate.

I can relate i saw her inner child after a bad fight... she reached and clung to my legs begging me to forgive her crying as my arm bled from her tearing it open... it still haunts me to this day.

It was the most intense moment of my life up untill that point.  Told me no ones ever seen this part of her and was the first time she actually felt real love in her entire life.  Had me bond my life to her and make a bunch of promises.  Then the disorder came and she started apologizing to me profusely.  Saying she was going to hurt me but she doesn't want to she had to.  

Like the disorder was there telling her to hurt me and he was her protector and knew best and she begged and pleaded with him "but I love him... .Please I really really love him. Why? I don't want too.  I never felt this before."   Then she would go back into apologizing to me. Telling me she didn't have a choice.

In Islam they call it djin the whisperers. 

Wow that is intense. I can only imagine how many thoughts were racing through to flood your head in that moment.

I just remember literally almost feeling our inner childs enmeshing as she held me and through such strong emotional transference i felt surge through me as i envisioned both of us in our youth. For a moment i felt all her pain. And i have to say its the most overwhelming feeling next to detachment i can describe.

So theoretically since the disorder is almost a detached part of their self through hypnotherapy do you think that it could be talked to since the unconscious mind is brought to the surface in such practices? If so do you think its self aware?

I think the disorder pimps out the abandoned child.  Idk about hypnotherapy but I saw this when she was in acid and she got triggered. By her dad but before this I wasn't around.  It took me a couple days to calm her down.  Then she was most of the time happy and I was pretty much her dad and she was a 3 year old talked like a 3 year old the whole bit. I didn't understand what was happening. It was a full time job though. It was the real her behind the disorder.

What I realize is the world she lives in is extremely different and their is like a cast of characters that take control of her being constantly. Who she really is is locked in a tower trapped.  Her reality is trully like the princess fairytale stories held captive by a dragon or troll if some sort. 

The key to access that part of her is trust.  She does not trust anything besides the disorder.  The disorder has so much power of her it shows up on brain scans.

Makes sense as psychedelics have been proven to break down barriers especially emotional ones further opening up our doors of perception. I think honestly psycho therapy would prove useful in treating BPD maybe all cluster b's because the ego isnt as resilient or at times one can suffer massive ego death. In turn since their ego is defined mostly by the disorder in a sense it would bypass the need for just trust to unlock the hidden self. I know when we both took a combination of mushroom tea, 4-acodmt,(converts into pscilocin when metabolized in the body the active ingredient in mushrooms) and LSD we had probably one of the most introspective talks of our relationship. She admitted to me to having BPD and that she was aware of all the pain she caused me and sorry about it. That she wanted to be with me forever but something stopped her but she wasnt gonna let it win this time. This was the point through our psychic bond i actually heard her thoughts and was finishing her sentences. I felt more in tune with the frequencies she gave off. Ive done it sober but it was never as intense. I felt the transference of her energy into mine. And for those moments i could feel no pain coming from her.

I also am wondering if she takes opiates to be as she states "normal" because it numbs the fear and pain the disorder evokes upon her. She told me she can actually be "nice" no matter what on opiates. Makes me wonder if BPD isnt linked to the lack of stimulation of the opoid receptors due to the lack of love and poor bond with the mother as child. 

I think their inner child would need to be raised and guided. The problem is they are extremely succeptible to peer pressure much more than you or I. They seek our people who enable sources to run away from themselves. They look to authority figures and give authority away to people that enable them to not face their issues.

We do this too. Everyone does.

What it would have to come down to is them facing their inner pain. Something we can't force them to do.

I know a friend of hers that is some kind of cluster b and that friend acts all spiritual and what not has done her fair share of psychedelics but she still is extremely self centered and does not self reflect.  Most of her gfs have cluster b traits a couple of them are disordered with histrionic and narc traits.  Guys that just wanna get in their pants and their histrionic narc trait friends are their worst influences with these kinds of friends they will never improve.

It's the same story with mine.

Her "friends" are a couple of hpd/NPD girls who are terrible influence on her and her main supply source for the last couple of years who is a drug addled moron.

I was basically the only stable, sane person she had in her life,  and I was also the only person who would tell her when she was doing wrong, and encourage her to face her issues rather than ignore them and waste her life partying.

Her "friends" think the best thing to do when she's in a down state is to take her out,  get her drunk to the point she is completely inebriated and then leave her alone to wander around throwing herself at anything that moves.

The amount of times I was woken at 2am to go in and drag her out of some degenerates clutches. It wasn't pretty.

I'll also add that these "friends" take turns kicking her to the curb,  and then taking her back. It's an odd dynamic,  the three of them always seem to "hate" each other one minute then love each other bffs forever the next.

I couldn't make head nor tails of it.

Sounds like my first ex.  The ultimate beak came when my ex called for me to "save "her from creeps and when I arrived the creeps were trying I date rape her friend. So I stopped them and ended up having to fight 2 guys at once and then the next day I was painted black.  That was the last straw for me. 

My ex has  more self control because she doesn't want to be like her exjunkie boozer mom.  She has new friends now who knows what they are like. I'm sure she has a new white knight now at this point. I think I know who it is. He was a jerk to me when I was with her disrespectful. I hope she destroys him.

Pretty similar here.  I had to fight some steroid laden ape which was great fun for me,  fortunatley he was more bark than bite but I still hurt my arm quite bad and had to go to hospital.  I remember thinking I had to be at work in 4 hours time. I tried explaining to her the next day that this was a really bad situation and maybe she should have a think about what she's doing,  of course all i got was "you just don't want me to have a life outside of you,  it's unhealthy"

I think I actually ended up apologizing,  I was so deep in FOG at this stage it's almost like I've dissasociated from it myself

Yea I really don't like fighting and I'm not a big guy.  I at least thought I would be thought if as a hero.  But no she listened to her friend who I saved from rape and was the bad guy this woke me from my fog.

You must have been deep in the fog to appologize after that.

This last ex was just so sneaky in her devaluing so subtle and preset up with her lies she even turned my family against me.

I was ridiculously deep in FOG mate,  I swear to you it terrifies me to think of it. I would have done almost anything for her.

I don't like fighting anymore I spent a long time working on anger issues but she bought that out in me I guess.  I honestly hate fighting now but for her I'd of fought Mike Tyson

Dude I'm sorry you were that far gone.  Undoing the damage from this type of conditioning is so painful. The way they brainwash is really something.

Just commenting on the original thread, my expwBPD was preoccupied religion.  She would get a daily email bible verse and believed that God was talking to her directly.  Now I know a little bit about Christianity and when I tried to explain to her that God doesn' t work that way she got quite upset with me.  Another interesting point is when she shared with me the song Demons by Imagine Dragons.  :)idn't know it then but she was trying to warn me about her and no doubt was already searching for a replacement.

"When you feel my heat,

Look into my eyes.

Its where my demons hide"

No doubt a foreshadowing of things to come!

When she went into devaluation I was getting 2 hours of sleep per night. I was eating only one meal a day and that was purely because I knew I had to eat something. I was smoking 40 a day, I didn't tidy my room for weeks. My work performance was beyond a joke, I was like a zombie and my workmates held an intervention for me. I lost 25 lbs.  

It was so, so bad. I was barely functional as a human being. Every ounce of mental or physical energy went into her.

When I was finally split black I had a nervous breakdown at work and it got so bad I had to go to hospital and be put on a drip.

It's taken me 2 months to get to a point where I'd say I'm stable and able to pretty much function. But the damage this has done to my psyche is immense and I think will take years to recover from.  

I was hit really hard too. I put boundaries in the way she would treat me. So she just found replacements.  The thing was she would project her most deepest sasistic pain into me.  I would feel it happen and it would make me physically I'll and I would want to leave it when I would call her out she would switch. I had to get away.

I would call her out on it and leave. She would lure me back but it was always more of the same she isn't going to change unless she gets help. That's the bottom line with them.

But I got hurt extremely deeply like you. 

We fell for the bait.  The disorder is ruthless.

Mine is obsessed with crosses, she has ear rings and used to have a cross necklace (how many times did she tell me about that cross necklace, she always seemed to forget she had told me) but lost it, she even asked me about getting a cross tattoo because I'm Christian. The weird thing is and I had to comment on this, we use a karaoke site to sing songs (we used to sing for each other), well since recontacting we started singing again. Her most recent song is DEMONS!

She used to say people were outside her house laughing, and that her house is haunted, I used to actually pray for her to get rid of the demons. I actually do think theres a possibility that BPD is some kind of demonic possession/harassment/oppression.

I've been high on mushrooms before and heard voices, it may be that the D'jinn (Devil) or demonic beings whisper stuff at them. They may simply be more susceptible to demonic influence due to their lack of self-control.

Who knows. It does seem to me this disorder has way to many peripheral connections to be a coincidence.

When mine left about 3/4 weeks (time is a blur really during this period) my dad came into my room and sat down and talked to me about seeing a doctor for my depression. I felt like I had a constant frown, I spent about 16 hours a day in my bedroom, I was either skyping her, calling her, texting her, fb chatting to her. After she started devaluing me we had very little physical contact. It was mostly skype. Anyway I called her out on this (I called her on a lot of things) and she was like "We'll meet in the park", I told her that was a bit weird, we could just go for a coffee. Apparently that wasn't good enough.

But she still expected me to skype her all the time. She wouldn't meet me though. So I was basically her 24/7 counsellor. I was like infern0 unable to eat properly. I had circles under my eyes, my hair was falling out, my only break was to go to work and lock my phone in my locker. If I didn't have work, its quite possible that you'd be reading about me in the newspaper or I'd be in a sanitorium.

I did NOT have the ability then to deal with her. I don't know what it is, it's like because they catch you off guard they get in your head straight away. Like now I'd just toy with her... but back then she could have given me a breakdown. I think a lot of stuff has been blocked out of my head I can't really remember it. But the way she used to talk (I have a few chat logs left over) compared to how she talks now. I've seen a little bit of that sort of 'sweet' talking. But to compare it to the batsh!t insane, devaluation period, I honestly  feel that these people have the ability to make unsuspecting guys lose their minds.

Still, I'm the man, it'll never happen again (Y)

I went crazy . I could not think for myself I would hide In my closet. I had a nerves brake down .

my ex has stent every girlfriend that she has been with to the mental hospital. she has had three and all three of use . and every single one of us went back to her. when she triggered it was like the devil was there . two out of three of us called her the devil

That's interesting, my exBPDgf made the comment many times that, "I don't like death" or "I don't like talking about death". I always found it interesting to an extent. I told her every time she said it, "nobody likes death, but you better get used to the idea because it's gonna happen eventually. It's just the circle of life". And like most pwBPD, in one ear and out the other, lol... .

Man, I read about all of you guys talking to your ex's. Mine cheated on me and then wanted nothing else to do with me. All the while treating me like didn't exist while still living there and telling me that, "you did nothing wrong to cause this". Maybe my exBPDgf is doing it wrong or didn't get the memo or something, hahaha. Strange indeed!

It always felt too good to be true.  The "devil" comes to collect his pound of flesh.  

This part of the brain that is over active in them is a part of our brain too.  The amygdala the reptilian part of the brain. It can be characterized as demonic possession but the thing is if we become ignorant this is a part of our own psyche that is the real danger.  

The subject matter of these type of situations have been in fairytales also.  The princess locked in a tower with a dragon guarding it. The dragon being the reptile trapping the humanity locked away.  

It is through activating this part of our brain that we can be manipulated and controlled and it's happening on a societal level as well.  Marketing is all about triggering this part of the brain to manipulate us.  

Sorry I miswrote that. I mean "When mine left, about 3 or 4 weeks before she did... ."

After she did leave it was about 4 months before she started the "lets be friends" thing and trying to box me in.

I'm glad you wrote that, christoff. I was thinking about starting a new thread about this. I strongly agree that there's more to many mental illnesses that people think.

I'm an active christian, believe Jesus is our Lord and Saviour. I used to pray a lot for my ex (I still do) because I'm positive he was oppressed by demons. My prayers had a real effect and he stopped having suicidal thoughts, that he was tormented by almost every day. He started functioning better, generally became a happier person. He did not know about the fact that I was praying for his deliverance.

And let me share with you a testimony of a priest, who said he once went to a mental hospital to pray over one highly schizophrenic lady, she was completely healed form her "illness" at the time with a few other severely schizophrenic people, that had to be locked because of their behaviour. It happened in the UK. I know tonnes of such testimony form both priests and ordinary people.

Someone here mentioned his ex having conversations with her illness, but could she be actually talking with something else? Other member mentioned his ex being afraid of the dark, other about her hearing whispers, well, maybe there really was something oppressing that people.

Please pray for those tormented people instead of hating them.

There is a significant degree of similarity. I remember honestly believing she was possessed. She would awake at night, sit bolt upright, and talk gibberish then go straight back to sleep. Another time during one of our "skype sleeps" she literally grabbed the ipod and threw it on the floor. She is literally terrified of sleeping in the dark unless someone is with her. Her obsession with 'religious objects' is another classic sign of demonic possession (remember the exorcist and the 'cross incident'. If demons are real (and I posit that they are) then where would they be? They would be in the place all the signs point to.

Another interesting thing, during the silence of when she was asleep - what would I hear... but whispers.

Of course, this is all theory and theres no proof, in other threads I've stated how I treat her. I treat her like anyone else but I make extra sure to think strategically and am working daily to become more of a man. I know that her relationship will end (unless God answered my prayers). A few circumstances change in a few months making it a little more likely that we can be together. I don't know if I will still be around or even interested at that point. But I'm on a 6 month alpha male subliminal program. It works wonders, seriously.

We should be aware of all possibilities and it is one of them definitely. As someone said however BPD is visible on brain scans, but what we might be seeing is the effect of demonic influence. Who knows. But one thing I do know, this seems to happen to unsaved people, often they seem to venture towards the catholic side (apologies if you're catholic) mine is suddenly claiming that she's catholic, they associate with Christianity, but unlike me and my collection of about 60 bibles, they tend not to have any obvious signs of faith. Nor have they ever opened a bible, or confessed with their mouth the Lord Jesus and believed in their heart that God has raised him from the dead.

It seems likely that if they did believe on Jesus, truthfully and honestly that this would be cured. But thats my faith talking.

I love my BPD with all my heart, but I can't allow that to mess me up. I have to be sober and far from her. If she called me up tonight and said she wanted to go on a date ASAP, I'd say "meet me monday at 2pm at such and such location". I hope and pray she'll be okay. If I can have her, I shall.

... see, you break down all the bravado and I'm a total wreck haha  :'(

What's that all about?

Christoff

You make your own choices but I really think you are playing with fire here.  The thing is you did attach an this gives her access to your unconcious mind.

The true alpha male is te psychopath. You are not a psychopath.

As good as your game gets hers will be better. It will take a great toll on your health. If you really want another shot you need to become whole and that process takes time like years.  Carl Jung had a relationship with a borderline and he went recluse for 5 years after she left him. His "system" for becoming whole after she left him he refered to as an alchemical transformation.  You might want to look into Jung and his students work on alchemy. Once one has completed the individuation alchemical process and fully integrated their dark and light side then one may be considered a true alpha with compassion. Then you may be able to handle her.

Bpds trump so called alpha males that attach unless they are psychopaths. The alpha male stuff out there is weak sauce compared to the alchemical process of individuation.

Mine had told me, in all seriousness, that she was a legitimate succubus and was assigned targets by "them", this ever ominous order of succubi. Literally told me that I was a target but she didn't want to hurt me like the others, that she loved me too much, that it wasn't fair. I wish I could say I don't know what I stuck around past it, but y'all know how it is. I loved her so much she could've grown horns and wings and whisked me away to the pits of hell and I'd of let her with a smile on my face.

Hi all

Interesting posts indeed. I do wonder about all this mental illness and demonic possession stuff too.

At my workplace, (a shopping centre) there was a dangerous schizophrenic guy that used to hang around all the time, (off and on for around 20 years) the stuff he was doing was really warped, and so many people complained about him that eventually we all had to take action, (legally) to ensure he couldn't hang out there any longer.

For example, he would wip his 'equipment' out in full view of the public, and proceed to masturbate, ranting on at the same time, he also likes to sneak into the toilets and wipe his faeces all over the walls, or leave disgusting biohazards behind, he is a drug user to boot, so pair that with a serious mental illness, and you have a recipe for disaster.

There are others that do the same type of stuff, and they are all junkies, (leaving their used needles and other grime behind them), and I have long known that there is a definite connection between human faeces and 'the devil's work'. Perhaps this explains their obsession with it, since drugs and serious mental illness seem to be destroying their souls.

As for my exBP, in the first six months of being involved with him, he would often make references to being 'the devil' or that he was/is an 'evil man' inside.  I would often watch him ranting out loud to himself, and his nocturnal sleeping habits left something to be desired too.

That of course was if he was asleep, (which was rare).

Roller

Basically you lie in bed, go to sleep. For 8-10 hours every night a trickling stream is heard. Beneath that... inaudible... is subliminals.  Theres 6 stages, each stage lasts 32 days.

Ive been on it since September 11, definitely seeing changes.

Agreed, at this specific moment she can still get to me.


Thank you. I disagree that an alpha is a psychopath, a more fully realised human being perhaps. But a psychopath tends towards torture, pain, to fulfill unconscious self-hatred, an alpha is nothing like that. An alpha is a human being who knows what he wants, has total unconditional self love, and has awesome perspective on life. Anyone can be alpha.


Working on it :) Still not sure I do want another shot. Off our October 11 on the pull  |iiii


I will look into it, but a lot of existential philosophy and new-agey psychology I tend to avoid.


BPDs wouldn't get a look in by an alpha. An alpha wouldn't even bother with someone like that except for a one night stand. To quote a Don Juan "Crazy girls are crazy in bed". I think that the alpha male stuff is a pathway to better self-realisation. If a man knows himself, "know thyself", isn't lonely, isn't desperately in need of someone to stroke his head and tell him they love him - then I posit that a BPD has no door in. A BPD will see YOUR interest, and then latch onto it. Aside of a bit of fun, no alpha male with 10 girls on the go (sorry feminists) is going to bother with someone evidently batsh!t.

But I will agree on this, once a BPD has you, as alpha as you may be, they get you, hook you in, hit emotional and psychological cues that you didn't know exist, and bring tears to your eyes cos you want them so bad!

I actually said yesterday that I love her (on this forum, not to her), I disagree with that, I think theres like a destructive unity between us. It's dangerous.

But I know I'm healing because I'm starting to dream about her, before I had a mental block, as I grow, I'm going through it. I'm wondering whether or not to stop social media for a while. Maybe for a week.