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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup => Topic started by: Moselle on September 25, 2014, 10:42:04 AM



Title: Why do they split us white and black?
Post by: Moselle on September 25, 2014, 10:42:04 AM
I'm going to assume splitting does something positive for a pwBPD. It must help the cope with something. Is it uncertainty?

If something is white or black it's controllable, they love it if it's white and hate it if it's black. If it's grey what do they do with it, how can they control it, it isn't categorised?


Title: Re: Why do they split us white and black?
Post by: maxsterling on September 25, 2014, 02:06:31 PM
I don't think there really is a reason - I think it is a leftover inborn instinct of how to view the world - things are either good or bad.  For a young child, it works.  They lack the ability to evaluate the different aspects of things, so they classify things as good or evil.  For an adult, it I don't see where that would be a particularly useful way of going about life, yet to some extent we all do it (prejudices).  For a pwBPD, splitting black or white is not cognitive - it's reactionary like a child.  Their behavior is responding to some biochemical response that is related to protection.  They feel that somehow being in a relationship with you is threatening, so you get split black as a protection.  The "reasons" are based upon feelings and not actual events.