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Title: The brutal truth... there is no consolation Post by: Lion Fire on September 25, 2014, 10:51:37 AM In brief... .
I had a two year "friendship" (when she unrelentingly chased me), a 5 month long distance r/s (where she lured me into a false sense of security) and a 2 month r/s under the same roof (where she captured and mauled me)... We split in April... .I walked away after a full month of what was the most insane and disturbing behaviour I have experienced with another human. I was beaten to my knees, devastated by the experience. I have walked a tough and painful path since then... .therapy, grief, anger, moving cities and then countries. I imposed NC 95 days ago and have stuck to this despite several attempts from her to connect (recycle). Things have improved and I can put this down to detaching completely and honestly and painstakingly working on myself. These boards have helped me no end. I had to rebuild from scratch in many areas. This destructive relationship obliterated my old self and I believe that is the real gift. For the first time in my life, I have had to terminate a relationship completely, without reservations... There can be no friendship, no amends, no closure between us, no future contact... .. Some relationships can be repaired or even renewed. This one has to be released. The peace and closure can only come through complete detachment and continued work on myself. It is like a death. I realised the consolation of possible friendship, mutual closure and peace, will never be possible with my BPDexgf. Acceptance of this brutal fact is my pathway to peace. |