BPDFamily.com

Hi all,

I'm on NC day 8 and doing much better. I've been letting go of our things together one day at a time (pictures, emails, etc) and it has helped a lot. The one thing I haven't done yet is to block her number, in part because I don't want her to think I'm ignoring her if she texts and I don't reply. I was thinking of sending her an email like this, but I'd like to get your feedback on it before I send it:

Dear exBPDgf,

Hi. As you know, I've been having difficulty letting go of hope for us, and every time I look at my phone, I keep hoping there is a text from you, which is, of course, unhealthy. So to help push me along the road to acceptance, I'll take a break from that. If there are any emergencies or anything, or if you'd like to get in touch, please email and I'll get right back in touch.

Thanks,

KC Sunshine

What do you think? Too much? Or okay?

Thanks to everyone here for all their help and encouragement!

What kind of an emergency would there be? Do you have children together?

Honestly, it sounds as if you are hoping for a response from her: "no, no, don't block me, I still love you" or something, maybe? There is no judgement from me, I still haven't been able to block either, for much the same reason "but what if he NEEDS me". What I did was change his text tone. That way I am not constantly checking my phone and when I do get a text from someone, my heart doesn't leap out of my chest thinking it might be him. Someone suggested to me that I do an experiment and block him for a couple days, just to see how it feels. I haven't been able to do that either.

Good luck.

KC,

Sending that might send you back to day 0 again of n/c.

Do what you feel is going to make you feel good. You made it 8 days. Look back 9 days ago on these threads and if you feel okay being there again, do whatever you feel that you have to.

Nobody is here to judge anybody.

I personally would just block it and keep moving forward. If somebody wants to get to you for an emergency they will!

Bad news travels quickly.

Rifka

Great points you guys! Okay, gonna try to get ready to bite the blocking bullet!

Don't do it. It will set you back cause you are secretly hoping she will respond by being hurt or begging you not to. When she doesn't, you will be hurt.

Just block it... if she somehow wants you back, she'll figure out how to get in touch with you, regardless if you respond or not (in fact, it's more likely any feelings of missing you will INCREASE when she's confronted with the worry that you've moved on)

But mostly because you need to stop having setbacks, you need to accept this is over. NC is for you, to heal, grow and move forward. Keeping attachments in the form of contact keeps you sitting on the fence, in stasis. Get off the fence and take the first steps towards your unknown future.

Yup, you all are right-- I hadn't even thought that it would constitute contact, but of course it would-- and then I would be back to zero instead of my hard earned day 8. Okay, definitely no email.