BPDFamily.com

Has your pwBPD come back to you to recycle?

Who ended it the first time?

What happened in between?

How were things between you when it first ended?

How long was it before they came back?

1. yes.

2. Her.

3.Cheated on me.  I was replaced.  She mirrored and bsasically said she wasn't happy and thought I was the cause of all her unhappiness.  Turns out she was ALWAYS unhappy.  This has happened 7 times.

4.  Can't remember... it was 4 years ago and  probably lasted a good 6 months.  We've been on and off for four years.

5.  It usually takes 2-4 months.  But they alwys leave Januruary and August... and come back 2-4 months later.

I also think our age matters on this question as older ages will have different outcomes.  We're both just entering our 20's

I ended it after 3 months in the rs and tried to go NC for a month. She kept texting and calling me it ended up being LC. Got back with her. After 4 months I broke up with her again. This time real NC for a month. She was contacting me again throughout. I picked up the phone one day in week 5 we talked on the phone for 2 hours straight and then she came to my flat. Slept together, I was back in paradise. Together then for another 4 month going through the stages of paradise, purgatory and hell until I broke up with her again and I am now NC for 6 weeks exactly as of today. She has tried every means possible to break the NC, facebook, whatsapp, viber, texting, phoning. I blocked her from everything. Now I get unknown calls (last one yesterday) that I don't pick up. It's the toughest thing I have done. To have to cut out of your life the person that you loved the most for your own good. It's like amputating your own arm because of gangrene. Psychic amputation.

1. yes(may be entering another recycle atm)

2.Her

3. Cheated on me. Set up a replacement. Stated we need a "break" to justify her cheating/pursuing replacement. "Break" lasted a month. We got back "together" for a week. I suggested we needed to be "friends" like she stated before when she tried to break up. It was in hopes shed truly "work on herself" as she acted like the relationship held her back... Another few weeks of games as "friends". She pushed pulled hxc. Then "needed space". So i went NC.

4. A little under a year and a half... but its been two years total counting the recycle and the current possible second attempt.

5. It usually takes about 2-3 months then she makes an excuse to gauge if its safe to spend time together and then before you know it... recycle.

Wow such similarities in these posts.

My bu was about 3 months ago and I have pursued her for 1-2 months after.

I think she still knows I love her even though I have tried to distance myself emotionally.

Now I think of it she might have cheated on me when she was at a party and things were rough between us at the time. But there is no way of knowing this.

She seems to be happy as when we first started dating, so she probably has a replacement now.

I wonder if she would be comparing the new guy to me, or her previous much longer rs. I know I was always being compared to her ex, but I came out "better" all those times.

Still there could be some type of guilt/shame that would keep her from coming back.

It is possible that she is trying to change, since she knows something is not right in her life.

Did your ex tell you eventually that they missed you or were thinking about you while they were avoiding you?

My ex & I broke up last February (my decision) and we recycled after two months... .In between he moved out of province and we started talking on the phone everyday and both said we would get therapy and maybe we could reunite at some point.  Well he pushed his way back into living with me without the therapy way too soon and I let it happen reluctantly although things were never right after that and after two months and another abusive incident I asked him to move out again.  This time he has cut me off completely, will not return my stuff he has of mine, ignores emails, etc.  I think it's different this time because I found out that he was living with his ex gf and he also was living with her after our first break up and didn't tell me.  He hates that I know he lied to me, didn't get away with it.  I have also called him out on his abuse and he can't handle that as well.  So I am permanently painted black now I guess.  We were together 4 yrs, married 1 yr.

4 months out, no recycle attempt so far.

6 months out of a 13 years r/s, no recycle attempts

1. Yes. Recycled 6 times (that i can remember)!

2. She was the one that always ended it.

3.

Break 1. 1 week. Constant calls. Said she was scared of me. Missed me but was scared to see me. Met up. Got together.

Break 2. 3 weeks. Constant calls. Scared of me. Missed me. Got together.

Break 3. 4 days. Constant calls. Scared of me. She wanted to make things work. Got together.

Break 4. 1 week. Constant calls. Scared of me. Calls seemed designed to punish/toy with me. Missed me. Got together.

Break 5. Same as 4.

Break 6. Same as 4.

Break 7. 2 months. 2 weeks NC. Told me she needed to stop phoning. Calls seemed designed to punish/toy with me. Slowly dwindled out over a month and a half, then NC. She tried for a replacement, slept with other men. Contacted me out of the blue. Needed me. Got together.

4. Its hard to say! She would rage a lot and her emotions seemed dysregulated (this pretty much stopped around break 4). As the relationship went on she actually became more and more affectionate and loving. It was like she started to crave my attention and affection and needed it, when she didn't get it, it clearly hurt her. Its what seemingly caused our final split.