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Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD => Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD => Topic started by: theplotthickens on September 28, 2014, 09:15:12 AM



Title: I got guardianship of my 17 year old...
Post by: theplotthickens on September 28, 2014, 09:15:12 AM
For those who are feeling like there is nothing you can do once your teen turns 18, guardianship is an option.  If your child is too unstable to manage their medical care and treatment, and if they are repeatedly unsafe resulting in hospitalizations, it is very simple to get guardianship.

It literally took 30 minutes at the courthouse, and it was very low-key and simple.  My attorney was FREE, paid for by my county.

I am not on this board a ton, but if you want to get further information, I would suggest contacting NAMI, and your county social worker.

You want to start thinking about this when your child is a few months away from turning 18.  It takes a couple months for them to send the court visitor and to get a court date. 

In our area, there is not charge for this.  Remember that once your child turns 18, there is NOTHING you can do regarding their medical care, housing choices, or monetary spending unless you get guardianship.  If your child is incompetent to keep themselves safe, this is something to seriously consider doing!

I do not know what the process is to get guardianship of an adult.  I was told that it is MUCH easier to do, legally, before they turn 18.  If your child is 17... .now is the time.




Title: Re: I got guardianship of my 17 year old...
Post by: pessim-optimist on September 28, 2014, 12:36:49 PM
Thank you so much for sharing this information!

Watching a child w/BPD come of age and become a threat to themselves and/or others must be one of the hardest things for a parent to endure... .

I would suggest contacting NAMI, and your county social worker.

|iiii

NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness): www.nami.org/

Is a great resource for us as parents, you can find your local NAMI, and see what's available.


Title: Re: I got guardianship of my 17 year old...
Post by: HealingSpirit on September 28, 2014, 09:38:25 PM
THANK YOU Plotthickens!

I will look into this.  My DD turns 18 towards the end of October. She has only been hospitalized once, so I doubt she will qualify. But this is such a great idea, I will ask her T about it.  I have serious doubts that DD can hold a job or get through school, now that the focus of moving out-of-state has been removed.  Guardianship makes a lot of sense until she CAN take care of herself.

I'm glad the process was simple for you. Continued care for your DD, on the other hand, is no piece of cake. Kudos to you!



Title: Re: I got guardianship of my 17 year old...
Post by: jellibeans on September 28, 2014, 10:20:11 PM
theplotthickens

This is interesting idea... .I am not sure if it is something I would want to do.

Can you tell me why you did this? For me my dd17 will turn 18 next July... .she would like to move out of the house but she has not really been able to hold down a job so I really don't have a lot of fear of her moving out. Get guardianship seems to just be delaying an important part of growning up. For my dd she is very ODD and I could see her fighting this very hard. Us having this kind of control would not go over well especially when we are trying to reduce the power struggles.

Do you mind tell us the reasoning behind this choice? I am really interested in read the benefits fo guardianship.


Title: Re: I got guardianship of my 17 year old...
Post by: theplotthickens on September 28, 2014, 10:48:39 PM
I am glad the info was helpful to you.  :)   This was a no-brainer for me, and strongly suggested by the county, as my dd's moods are unstable, she is extremely immature, she cannot keep herself safe, and she is not able to participate much in her medical care.  She also has bipolar and ADHD,  and now they are adding antisocial as well as borderline PD.

Guardianship does NOT mean that they have to live with you, and it does mean that our kids retain a medical advocate.  My dd does recognize the fact that she is not able to control her moods and does not want to be stuck in a hospital or facility with no legal advocate. She is ODD, but does see the need for help on the medical end of things.  Go figure.

If a medical doctor approves the petition, it will go through with or without objection.  My dd had her own attorney, paid for by the county.

If it is something you are interested in, here is more info:  https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&ei=CdMoVKvsE4SuyQTWp4HIDg&url=www.nami.org/Content/Microsites192/NAMI_Durham/Home179/Whats_New_at_NAMI_Durham/MentalHealthGuardian.doc&cd=1&ved=0CCYQFjAA&usg=AFQjCNGLP9XvwTCJU-LMJhTYWxWj-QCrVg&sig2=gdLLZp8ciOx-vZzDrVI5Xw


Title: Re: I got guardianship of my 17 year old...
Post by: pessim-optimist on September 28, 2014, 11:05:40 PM
This is interesting idea... .I am not sure if it is something I would want to do.

This would definitely be a delicate decision, as our goal as parents is to facilitate as much maturity and independence as possible.

However, I can see how in some cases that might be necessary especially if the child has more conditions going on simultaneously that hands-down prevent them from functioning in society.