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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: Chasing_Ghosts on September 28, 2014, 04:44:19 PM



Title: Communication
Post by: Chasing_Ghosts on September 28, 2014, 04:44:19 PM
So me and my ex started having more contact lately. Im wondering if its ok for me to be the one to initiate? She usually does. So should i keep it that way to not look desperate or make her feel engulfed? Im just confused on how im supposed to handle this situation... *sigh*


Title: Re: Communication
Post by: caprice on September 28, 2014, 05:08:19 PM
It depends what you want?  Are you wanting a relationship with her? Do you need to contact her?  (Are there kids involved?)

You may be on the wrong board as most people here want to get over their ex... .not trying to figure out how to maintain a relationship.



Title: Re: Communication
Post by: Chasing_Ghosts on September 28, 2014, 05:13:29 PM
It depends what you want?  Are you wanting a relationship with her? Do you need to contact her?  (Are there kids involved?)

You may be on the wrong board as most people here want to get over their ex... .not trying to figure out how to maintain a relationship.

Idk what i want. Part of me wants to not cross the boundary of getting back together to take things slow and be friends... the other part is telling me to win her back.

I posted on the undecided so maybe i will get better results there. This is just the board i normally post on... i wasnt thinking.   


Title: Re: Communication
Post by: Blimblam on September 28, 2014, 05:21:37 PM
It depends what you want?  Are you wanting a relationship with her? Do you need to contact her?  (Are there kids involved?)

You may be on the wrong board as most people here want to get over their ex... .not trying to figure out how to maintain a relationship.

Idk what i want. Part of me wants to not cross the boundary of getting back together to take things slow and be friends... the other part is telling me to win her back.

I posted on the undecided so maybe i will get better results there. This is just the board i normally post on... i wasnt thinking.   

This sounds like fog to me. Fear of losing her. Obligation to conform to her standards. And guilt of not understanding what her needs trully are. 

You can also inverse everything I said and make those statements about yourself and that's why you feel the need to have her in your life.

But yeah the undecided board seems like where you are at right now.