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Title: New Here Post by: StrongSpirit on September 28, 2014, 10:54:16 PM Hello, I am the parent of adult child that may have BPD. I feel lost in what to do, say, etc. and how to cope with the storms of rage, accusation, neglect, hateful attacks from my adult child. I am at the end of my rope, yet can no longer participate in allowing my adult child to emotionally abuse and blackmail me to gain money and material things from me. I am here to seek solutions to how to love my BPD adult child and improve our relationship.
Title: Re: New Here Post by: jellibeans on September 29, 2014, 09:25:44 AM Dear strong spirit
I want to welcome you here and tell you how sorry I am you are struggling with your adult daughter but I am guessing that this has probably been a long journey for you. I have a dd17 and I know your struggles. I am on the parent board and there are many there with adult BPDs and I really think you will get the support you need there. I want to encourage you to post there. When I first found this board two years ago it really saved me and it was such a source of support. The tools for communication and the workshops really gave me the tools to deal with my dd. We really understand and we are here to listen... .I am glad you have found us |iiii Title: Re: New Here Post by: Mutt on September 29, 2014, 12:16:12 PM *welcome*
Hi strong spirit, I would like to welcome you. You feel frustrated, confused and anxious. I'm so sorry. It sounds like you are at your wits end. I would like to echo jellibeans and our parenting board has many members that can offer guidance and support. I'm glad that you have found us. There is hope! Boundaries can be difficult with a pwBPD. It is arrested emotional development and they flail against boundaries like a young child with a parent. It's imperative to assert strong boundaries when it comes to material things, money and whatnot. I'm sorry that this is tough. They used to call this "tough love". When a child suffers from BPD (even our adult child), not only is the child unhappy and unhealthy, but often, so is everyone who loves them. This mental illness can severely affect everyone, creating drama and heartbreak, while also piling on the guilt and anxiety. The good news is that there are answers to these problems, and we are here to offer you the support and encouragement to help you find them. You'll see that there are things that can be done to stop making things worse and begin to make them better. A great place to start is with this set of resources: What can a parent do? (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=114267.0) We look forward to seeing you on the Parenting a Son or Daughter Suffering from BPD board (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?board=4.0) and hope you join us in learning how to understand and communicate with our children better. BOUNDARIES: Upholding our values and independence (https://bpdfamily.com/content/values-and-boundaries) Video--Validation: Encouraging Peace in a BPD Family (https://bpdfamily.blogspot.com/2013/06/validation-encouraging-peace-in-BPD.html) TOOLS: S.E.T. - Support, Empathy and Truth (https://bpdfamily.com/content/ending-conflict) Hang in there. -Mutt |