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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting => Topic started by: Shattered1920 on September 29, 2014, 10:41:03 PM



Title: Being ignored
Post by: Shattered1920 on September 29, 2014, 10:41:03 PM
Tonight is one of those nights where I am experiencing the side I hate the most. The side that ignores me. Most people in the world seem to have the most trouble with the needy aspect of BPD. That I can handle as long as it doesn't turn to resentment over not getting enough attention when you are already giving more than you can. It's the being ignored that is the worst feeling. When he is with me, and I mention being hurt over being ignored, then it turns to anger and chaos. But when he's off somewhere disappeared getting that space he claims to need so much... .that's the worst most empty feeling. That you aren't good enough to talk to. That all the time you push your own needs away isn't enough to make you important all the time consistently. I just don't understand how one minute can be "i miss you" and the next minute is just... .nothing. "I'm busy". "You aren't worth a text even though I expect you to text me enough times to show that you miss me to a satisfactory degree daily." All of this it makes me anxious and sick and very very unhealthy inside. I always say to myself "fine ok he wants distance then I won't care either." but it never works that way. it never lasts.


Title: Re: Being ignored
Post by: LooceyBlue on September 30, 2014, 09:30:01 AM
Yep, I totally know how you feel! When you're in constant contact with someone and they suddenly withdraw, it can be really uncomfortable. You're left not knowing what's up happening in the r/s. It's tough.

I understand how this would make you feel anxious and uncertain. Do you have friends you can reach out to? It might help you feel better to be out with people or doing something for yourself. When my SO does this type of thing, I take it as an invitation for me-time and try to take care of myself. It's hard, but I find that movies and music are good distraction.

You're not alone. Hang in there and take care of yourself!



Loocey