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Title: In case I think of re-engaging , I made a list from preventing me from it Post by: borderdude on September 30, 2014, 10:32:06 AM Red lights:
* I should move in with her extreme quickly after I knew her. * She was looking for her rescuing prince. * Multiple personalities. * No communications skills, felt more lonely when I was with her , than single. * She never will improve , only become a better version of her self * Extreme immature, coping with relations, and work like a child. Creating problems for the employer. * No empathy, no skill to detect my feelings. * No intimacy, no kissing, no touching. * Extreme manipulative. Started controlling me, where I should go etc, from the start. * Asked me to engage with her, already in her new relationship. * Do not seek help, her children are suffering, some of them already in therapy. * I was her caregiver , not in a mutual relationship, everything was my problem, not hers, Title: Re: In case I think of re-engaging , I made a list from preventing me from it Post by: Deeno02 on September 30, 2014, 10:50:24 AM Wow! Seen alot of those traits. At first it was great, then as time progressed (stages progressed) it tapered off. Wow, what a moron I was. Still miss her. Scared of possible return (recycle). Very scared... .
Title: Re: In case I think of re-engaging , I made a list from preventing me from it Post by: borderdude on September 30, 2014, 11:13:09 AM Thanks to a previous BPD shortlived relationship , I was able to detect all the red lights early on, and thereby preventing me from a lot of pain. I did had a painful experience back then , but all experiences are some day applicable.
I was the one that broke up with her, I do not fool me twice. A person with some degree of self love , will not experience a BPD relationship. She did a lot of grief, charming, manipulation ... .was no attempt towards an adult talk (we're both 40+), 'bout the subject when we parted. She then fast raced enabled an old flame , less than 1 month into the r/s, + now 1 month they are engaged(hurry , hurry). She is happy about her new toy of narcissistic supply. The new flame is a 10-15 years younger , and she has made use of a LOTS of makup to resemble a 20yo girl , almost comic to see her play out her poor game. She also inhabits a new personality with him, not the same as with me (mirroring). Look at me , I am engaged I am "normal" :) |