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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting => Topic started by: Hawk Ridge on September 30, 2014, 12:23:57 PM



Title: Making replacement jealous
Post by: Hawk Ridge on September 30, 2014, 12:23:57 PM
My ex made a positive mention of me on FB last pm on her own FB page. She has been with my replacement 4 - 5 months, about the same time she started cycling into irritability with me when we were together.  Knowing her current 'love' sees this on her feed, it makes me wonder if edging toward a recycle or if she is trying to make my replacement jealous?


Title: Re: Making replacement jealous
Post by: walksoftly on September 30, 2014, 01:23:41 PM
Your replacement will be feeling the same things you felt while you were with her; jealousy, sadness, guilt, love, etc.

Your replacement will feel dumbfounded becaseu she probably fed him a tonne of bs regarding your character.

Go no contact.


Title: Re: Making replacement jealous
Post by: hurting300 on September 30, 2014, 03:24:44 PM
My ex did the same with her ex boyfriend... see normal people delete things off Facebook about exes after they start a new relationship. Mine did not. Apparently she forgot she did love other men.


Title: Re: Making replacement jealous
Post by: walksoftly on September 30, 2014, 03:46:28 PM
Mine posted my replacement in my home playing with with my dog and daughter.

No empathy.



Title: Re: Making replacement jealous
Post by: goldylamont on September 30, 2014, 06:01:20 PM
Hawk Ridge, don't fall for this crap. pwBPD often know keenly how to use people's egos to manipulate them. this is a double-manipulation on her part. what she gets out of the exchange is what she feeds on -- ATTENTION. yes she is punishing her current bf. and yes she is trying to hook you in again. don't allow yourself to enter the triangle--your ego is bruised right now and you probably want some validation that you mean something to this woman. that you are 'better' than or mean more to her than the replacement. she knows this and is trying to play you for it.

i didn't know about BPD at the time. but soon after we broke up my ex and i were still in LC. she would devalue her current bf and flirt with me. of course this felt great but i knew it wasn't real, it wasn't right. we had spent 4 years together and if she was going to act this way towards me i wasn't going to stand for it while she was publicly portraying this image of being so 'in love' with the replacement. so, on one phone conversation we had i told her that i appreciated keeping in touch but that i needed to take some space. i wasn't leaving for good but just didn't feel comfortable communicating how we were since she was in another r/s and it didn't feel right. her response was caustic. she basically yelled at me that she never cared about me at all, that i was crazy and still clinging to the r/s and that if I needed to take space then fine, it didn't matter to her because i never mattered to her. she was disgusted, disgusting, and held onto her delusional facade that i was pursuing her while she was happily in a new r/s.

basically, it's just a game for them. don't fall victim to her and play her game. at some point we have to take responsibility for being complicit if we allow ourselves to be used to emotionally abuse other people. responding to her recent posts in my opinion will be doing just that.


Title: Re: Making replacement jealous
Post by: Aussie0zborn on October 02, 2014, 03:21:51 AM
... .don't fall victim to her and play her game. at some point we have to take responsibility for being complicit if we allow ourselves to be used to emotionally abuse other people. responding to her recent posts in my opinion will be doing just that.

Well said. You might think of keeping out of her triangle and going "no contact".

Why allow her to use you? Do you really need her emotional upheavals in your life?