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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting => Topic started by: Loveofhislife on September 30, 2014, 04:07:42 PM



Title: Translation Help
Post by: Loveofhislife on September 30, 2014, 04:07:42 PM
So, after two months of Silent Treatment and his owing me a lot of money; I began to scrape myself off the ground and began  to follow counsel: reaching out to a key informant, his ex of 17+ years, my cell phone carrier where he charged his phone bills and equipment (unauthorized); have been working with Apple and I-Tunes on what has appeared to be his hacking into my accounts. So, in the midst of all this activity, I get a text from exbfBPD out of the blue, after total ST verbally and LT on text. All it said was:

REALLY?

Bpd Family--can anyone name that tune? We were together nearly every waking moment for a year before he lands a lucrative job; rages at me about what he owes--never to be heard from again?


Title: Re: Translation Help
Post by: drummerboy on September 30, 2014, 04:12:02 PM
There is not much to work with, a one word text but my take is that he is annoyed you are on to him, annoyed that the game is up and that you are taking control and not letting him have the upper hand.


Title: Re: Translation Help
Post by: Loveofhislife on September 30, 2014, 04:37:58 PM
Bauie! Yes! They spend so much time studying our every move, our every tone, our every facial expression--and he is a software developer aka convicted con artist. I'm dealing with one of the best manipulators on the planet--not to mention that he's dBPD! Now I've received a follow up text that is "?" I swore he would never try to recycle, but what happens when we begin to get our power back? NOW he's communicating!


Title: Re: Translation Help
Post by: drummerboy on September 30, 2014, 04:42:52 PM
I think that the best thing to do is not reply to him at all. If you do say something along the lines of "Please ensure all communication is via my attorney and here is a link to information about BPD"

Bauie! Yes! They spend so much time studying our every move, our every tone, our every facial expression--and he is a software developer aka convicted con artist. I'm dealing with one of the best manipulators on the planet--not to mention that he's dBPD! Now I've received a follow up text that is "?" I swore he would never try to recycle, but what happens when we begin to get our power back? NOW he's communicating!



Title: Re: Translation Help
Post by: Loveofhislife on October 01, 2014, 09:19:11 AM
Bauie--thank you again for responding yesterday--especially with so little to go on.  However, I believe you intuited it correctly.  I did not respond to him, and I did not hear from him after the "?"  The first of the month is "pay day" for him:  and since we know his primary motivator is money, he seemed to surface from the abyss for a brief moment.  I have read from others on here, how they start with the "inadvertent" texting on their recycle fishing expeditions.  I continue to be in the difficult position of needing to communicate with him occasionally about money he owes and my property that he has.  He is really leaving me no choice but to move forward with the attorney--especially in light of the fact that it's difficult for me to move on as long as these "loose ends" remain.  THANK YOU 


Title: Re: Translation Help
Post by: purpleavocado on October 01, 2014, 10:24:28 AM
I think the translation is:

I don't know how to start an actual conversation with you but I crave the dramatic interactions we once had. Ask me what I'm talking about and I'll make something up to piss you off and make you feel bad about yourself so we can engage in communication the only way I know how.


Title: Re: Translation Help
Post by: Loveofhislife on October 01, 2014, 02:08:41 PM
Thanks, Anad--awesome and very accurate!


Title: Re: Translation Help
Post by: Rifka on October 01, 2014, 02:45:33 PM
Love,

I would say that Bauie and anad have it right on the money!

He knows you are challenging him and he is threatened a bit! I bet most from his past just let him get away with theft, so they could get away with their sanity!

Rifka

Try not to respond to his texts, it will put him on top again for more nasty abuse for you, or charm to get you to back down!

Don't fall for the bait!



Title: Re: Translation Help
Post by: Loveofhislife on October 01, 2014, 03:19:48 PM
Rifka--awesome. Yes, in his projections, he frequently would say (referencing loved ones and colleagues of mine), "They don't respect you; they take advantage of you; they want you to beg them for what is yours; they are only using you... ." Who was he talking about? Oh yeah, HIMSELF! But in these "intrapersonal" conversations he was having, I believe he was convincing himself (thinking he was convincing me) YOU'LL NEVER DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT! When I would point out real life examples of holding others accountable, it was no different than if I had been saying that to my German Shepherd.


Title: Re: Translation Help
Post by: Rifka on October 01, 2014, 03:24:56 PM
Rifka--awesome. Yes, in his projections, he frequently would say (referencing loved ones and colleagues of mine), "They don't respect you; they take advantage of you; they want you to beg them for what is yours; they are only using you... ." Who was he talking about? Oh yeah, HIMSELF! But in these "intrapersonal" conversations he was having, I believe he was convincing himself (thinking he was convincing me) YOU'LL NEVER DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT! When I would point out real life examples of holding others accountable, it was no different than if I had been saying that to my German laccountable."

Head games! They are the grand manipulators of truth, perception, ethics!



Title: Re: Translation Help
Post by: hope2727 on October 01, 2014, 03:45:37 PM
I think the translation is:

I don't know how to start an actual conversation with you but I crave the dramatic interactions we once had. Ask me what I'm talking about and I'll make something up to piss you off and make you feel bad about yourself so we can engage in communication the only way I know how.

That hits home so hard.


Title: Re: Translation Help
Post by: Loveofhislife on October 01, 2014, 03:59:59 PM
I feel as if I owe my German Shepherd an apology-he would have understood from my tone and body language that I "meant business." Once I had been devalued, the exbfBPD heard nothing from me--I wasn't worth listening to anymore. The texts continue today with the lures---he can't sleep; he is barely surviving. ''Twas once the siren's song for me; I look forward to the day when all his communication falls on my deafening ears and/or out into cyberspace where I never hear it.


Title: Re: Translation Help
Post by: Rifka on October 01, 2014, 04:17:32 PM
I feel as if I owe my German Shepherd an apology-he would have understood from my tone and body language that I "meant business." Once I had been devalued, the exbfBPD heard nothing from me--I wasn't worth listening to anymore. The texts continue today with the lures---he can't sleep; he is barely surviving. ''Twas once the siren's song for me; I look forward to the day when all his communication falls on my deafening ears and/or out into cyberspace where I never hear it.

Be strong!


Title: Re: Translation Help
Post by: Loveofhislife on October 01, 2014, 04:19:43 PM
Hope2727--Anad's words hit me hard too. They read as if the "true self" of exbfBPD were writing them. However, since there is no "true self" for him, we should expect no truth, as Rifka wrote.