BPDFamily.com

After I expressed to my uBPDbf that I couldn't spend this weekend at his place, he got so angry with me that he changed our facebook relationship status from "in a relationship with" to "It's complicated." He expressed that it's been like this for a while between us.

I feel okay in general. He tells me that he will probably look for someone else since I can't get 'my s*** together" after a year of me being unreliable in his eyes.

I just feel grateful for the moments I do have with him. We really do have a lot of really wonderful moments together full of affection and exchanging ideas and just enjoying each other's company. That's the part of him that I love beyond words. That person he is when he isn't having cycles of dysregulation.

It's just that status every time I go on facebook that bothers me. We are still in a loving committed relationship based on the time we do spend together, but he is trying to actively trying to punish me by not expressing it online. He claims that he's told people that we probably won't last anyways and that they agree that 'I'm the one with issues," and that this way they won't be surprised when things go kerplunk!

It's like he's advertising the he's not committed, that I don't matter.

I know my self-worth. I've been working on my self-esteem and have realised I can go on without him if I have to, but I still love him. A part of me still holds on to hope that we'll stay a couple.

I was at a psychiatrist's today. He implied that I'm the one responsible for the relationship issues. Sigh.

I would be upset about that, too  . I am sorry for you to have go through something like that.

It feels like he took you not being able to spend time with him so badly it had to be revenged well. Or perhaps it hurt him so badly he is genuinly unsure if he can have a relationship. You know, feeling like you are not paying enough attention to him, or such. Most BPDs are so afraid of being left (rejected?) that they are unconciously trying to prepare for it by not getting too  involved. Or acting in ways that makes sure the non will leave.

... .then again, here I am having a relationship with a person who is not going have our relationship as status on facebook, like ever :D.

It sounds like you are new to dealing with a pwBPD.

Get used to dealing with the emotions of a 3 year old when things go hairy.

Get used to dealing with an infantile man who suddenly makes no sense for no good reason and zaps your time and energy and all for what?

Yes, the FB status is hurtful but BPD is here to stay. It doesn't just go away because we're nice compassionate people. There are some good resources on this site and I would urge you to take the time to read them in depth. Good luck.