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Title: Revelations: a big thank you and appreciation for this page Post by: JRav59 on October 03, 2014, 12:27:04 PM Hi Everyone,
I just wanted to reach out and let you know that I think everyone on this page is extraordinary. We're all at different stages at recovering from something we would not wish on anyone. I am grateful for the posts/wisdom from people who have really made it to the other side. People who have gotten out and are learning to crawl. Those of us who know we made the right decision, but we just need time for our heart to catch up. One thing is definitely certain... .I am much more aware of the people I am surrounded by. I was in hiding for so long, learning about me has been eye opening and liberating. Unfortunately I had to sever some friendships as well. I realized, "This is my life, is this really what I want to be surrounded by?" It's lonely, but I have seen some awesomeness in people as well. I am really learning to love myself for the first time ever. I see someone who isn't defeated, but who has something in her that even the most evil/broken could not take away. My only hope is that everyone on this page sees that in themselves, because I see it from all these posts. I cry easily these days. Not out of sadness but out of joy and thankfulness. I am not nearly as anxiety ridden anymore. The sinking sick feeling is lifting after feeling it for 3 years. I am not the sick one as I was led to believe. I am not the one who is running from my pain and looking to others to fill a void. It leaves them susceptible to MORE abuse, addictions and sprinting down a crazy rabbit hole. At the pace my ex is going, I am pretty sure she will be dead by 45 unfortunately. I am the one who has a real chance at a real genuine, happy future... .Because I am doing the work. It's OK to have compassion for these people. I will always love her in someway but that does not mean I will ever try to pick up that broken diseased little sparrow again. You can't save anyone from themselves. You can only let them go and hope some day they with receive the chance at discovery they gave you. Love & Light, JR Title: Re: Revelations: a big thank you and appreciation for this page Post by: Mutt on October 03, 2014, 12:47:40 PM *welcome*
I cry easily these days. Not out of sadness but out of joy and thankfulness. I am not nearly as anxiety ridden anymore. The sinking sick feeling is lifting after feeling it for 3 years. I am not the sick one as I was led to believe. You're feeling better and seeing the forest for the trees because the fog is lifting. It's OK to have compassion for these people. I will always love her in someway but that does not mean I will ever try to pick up that broken diseased little sparrow again. You can't save anyone from themselves. Wise words. You can only let them go and hope some day they with receive the chance at discovery they gave you. I have compassion and it's taking care of yourself and not feeling compassion fatigue. I let go and let god. I can't fix her. Change starts from you. |