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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: Duped11years on October 03, 2014, 02:43:34 PM



Title: Do they ever regret thier gaslighting episodes?
Post by: Duped11years on October 03, 2014, 02:43:34 PM


We have been NC since I told her I couldnt take it anymore and needed her out of my life after a barrage of gaslighting comments.  Her twisting & mis-interpretations of what I said & finding wrong in all I said or did was getting so bad, the final episode put me over the edge; I flipped out & screamed in rage at her, like some sort of nervous breakdown, & that was it.

That was 10 days ago. I havent gone this long without wanting to reach out to her & feel Im getting stronger after voraciously reading posts and other materials. BUT, Im wondering if she has replayed the entire incident, or series of them, & does she actually see that what she did & said was wrong & understand why I reacted? I read so much that clearly state 'No', but I guess im hanging on to the thought that some part of her is normal, & she actually can feel remorse. After past break-ups shes told me how depressed she was but i think that was her way of reeling me back in... .so is she now feeling remorse or because of my reaction, is she moving ahead thinking Im the crazy one?   


Title: Re: Do they ever regret thier gaslighting episodes?
Post by: crookedeuphoria on October 03, 2014, 02:52:04 PM
That's pretty much how me and mine broke up this last time too. I said something, he twisted it and I LOST MY MIND. I totally flipped out and went OFF on him. And, like you, that was that.

I do think mine feels remorse but I know his remorse is not stronger than his BPD. So, as always, BPD wins.


Title: Re: Do they ever regret thier gaslighting episodes?
Post by: hope2727 on October 03, 2014, 05:48:59 PM
I suspect mine has regret but not insight. As in he regrets that we are apart but doesn't recognize his gas lighting


Title: Re: Do they ever regret thier gaslighting episodes?
Post by: Blimblam on October 03, 2014, 05:55:43 PM
I just wanna say that when they are doing it thy know they are lying they know they are manipulating us heck they even smile about it.  Brag to their friends. They just don't understand why they are doing it and at the time neither did I.

The level if their gas lighting they might feel we really deserved it or remind them of their bad seeds and try to pretend it didn't happen to continue with a friendship.  All this ends up being more gaslighting though.  Now they think they can get away with anything with u.


Title: Re: Do they ever regret thier gaslighting episodes?
Post by: borderdude on October 03, 2014, 09:04:15 PM
If a BPD is a subtube of npd , then you are her source of narcistic supply, you are an object . It is like asking if you care if your tv set is caring about you, who cares? If not you , somebody else will take your place,  the point is to be supplied.