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Title: Just a vent. Post by: H0lding0n on October 06, 2014, 04:34:10 PM my BPD is going to court tomorrow. Has been very stressed out, lots of anxiety. When this happens he doesnt sleep. Going on 4 days. Takes or overtakes prescribed xanax. Still no sleep. Delusions, paranoia and hullucinations start. His mom trying to keep him out of hospital due to court. Im trying to keep him from doing something stupid until sleep sets in and hoping he is somewhat normal for court or/and can get up to go to court as Im one of the signers on his bail agreement. Im stressed not taking care of me. Except I am geting my finances in order and working on budget. But laundry and housework, yardwork suffering. He has been doing the best he can emotionally but under the circumstances not well. Trying hard not to be an emotional burdon but then explodes with it. He doesnt realize he is BPD but has lived with it and in his good moments knows its him and is very honest about his mistakes and insecurities. So hard to see someone work so hard on his emotions then watch the anxiety and insecurity take over. How painful it must be to him. Because I can clearly see the nugget of truth in his overblown tantrums. I can also clearly see in hindsight how my behavior has damaged his fragile psyche even though he might have brought it on himself. Sheesh feels insermountable sometimes.
Title: Re: Just a vent. Post by: ColdEthyl on October 06, 2014, 05:19:34 PM Yes it is difficult to see them go through this. Sometimes you want to choke them to death, sometimes you want to hug them tight, and sometimes both at the same time :)
I have at time also felt very overwhelmed with my dBPDh, it sounds like you are well aware of the situation. I don't have any helpful advice for ya, other than I just wanted to say you are not alone. I hope court goes ok for him tomorrow! |