BPDFamily.com

After being dumped from a 4 year rs, for someone else and dumped for the 7th time... I simply can't find the strength to get my mind off how she's roaming around with the biggest smile on her face, with a guy she only knew for less than a week.

It's eating away at me, and I know she's not doing it to spite me or get my attention for she blocked me from basically everything for no reason.  

Are there any signs that show that they're REALLY not happy with the new fake relationship?  Despite the fact that they talk 24/7, spend all day together, and so on.

I was in your shoes a few months back.  It's not fair it hurts and it sucks the big one. It's not about you or him.  She is kind of a leach and she's feeding of the new dudes happiness. It is not sustainable and will break down when he can no longer tolerate the abuse he has coming his way.

Come on Algae. You've been here long enough. You've read and taken part in enough threads to know the answer to that. You may not be there to see it but you know the pattern. Same sh#t - different man. That's all it is. You're out of it, battered yes but out of it and with a good chance to find true happiness. Her misery continues. In cycles but it continues and that will never end.

You gave her 4 years and she treated you like that? Chief, leave her to her to wallow in her misery while you move on. Good riddance!

Please me Hollande

We are all at different points in our detaching. The mind ruminates it's what it does and goes back to those what ifs and when we need reassurance we turn to support. Logically understaning the concept and having it congeal I place are 2 different things. Even once it does we can be triggered and need to be reminded. We come on here to remind ourselves through others. It's projection and how we relate to others in te healing process is a projection of how we feel about the part of ourselves we consider weak, our inner child.

We do BlimBlam and then others give us a piece of their mind based on their experiences. I just did that for Algae. You may not agree with my take on things due to us not being in the same place of healing but that does not render my advice null and void.

We are all hurting here.

How is it that we relate to the pain we posses that we see it in others?

Who are we really talking to?

Who are we seeking validation from?

Yes, all of us are hurting here but your questions feel more suited for you than me. You have your views, I have mine.

Got to ask yourself, why do I care if shes happy or not? Of course she is. Shes feeding off him. It may last a month, 15 months, 5 years etc. but the new guy will get his in the end, unless he's smarter than I was and runs first... .

They will never be happy, unless they get the required help. And the same goes for us nons we pprobably have an equal set of dysfunctions to allow us to stay in these relashionships. So BPD and nons are quite alike we all have dysfunction, is she happy i dont think so look in those hollow eyes and haunted faces look beneath the mask it will be the same. Hope you can move forward with your new life.

Mines not happy with bilbo baggins.  Her bullimia had got worse.

People with bullimia are not happy

People with BPD are not happy.

They don't know how to be happy

Good call Infern0! Mine, last I knew, is with a drug dealer. A low level drug dealer who doesn't have a pot to p#ss in and very likely has no control over his life. She started doing drugs towards the end of our time together (influenced by him I would guess) and knowing her taste for alcohol she continues to self medicate with that. Her son is a mess who hides in his room where he devotes his time to playing internet poker and other messed up stuff. She's over her head in debt from a failed business venture since more than 15 years now. Is that the lifestyle of a happy person?

So Algae, why not make your own list? I'm sure your findings will be similar to mine and Infern0's and there lies the answer to your question.

Made a big smile at my face mate haha! I call my ex replacement Hodor. For a good reason...

algae,

i am currently experiencing this, as well. it is heart-wrenching. i think the sign that they're really NOT happy is that they move on and dive in head first with someone else so quickly. sure, they may be distracted by the new person 24/7, but it's only to distract themselves from their own inner turmoil.