BPDFamily.com

 Next week I see my BPDh in court for the first time in months. We're there to discuss our financial settlement.  I'm petrified of making eye contact. Shall I just keep it very cool and business-like and refer everything to my lawyer?  I just don't know what to do. Im afraid I'll lose it and break down. Any advice?

Yes, keep it very cool and business-like. Let your lawyer take care of as much of it as possible, that's what they're paid to do. You don't have to make eye contact, in fact, make a point of NOT making any eye contact. It's your life. Do what's best for you. Keep the focus on yourself and the progress you've already made, and that you'll be making in court taking another step away from the r/s and your ex. You won't be breaking down. You're rebuilding.

Ditto to the above. There is no need for eye contact. Follow your lawyer's instructions and all will be fine. Good luck.

Not even a week ago I was in the exact same situation. I have made no eye contact. I've let my lawyer deal with everything. I've switched seats in the waiting area so he could not see me. I chose my seat in the court room strategically, so I could sit as far away as possible from him and hide behind my lawyer (literally).

I can tell you though, it hurts like hell. It takes a lot of energy out of you. Make sure you have a friend waiting for you after the meeting, because that is when you can allow yourself to break down. I was soo mad at him for having to go through this stupid no-contact thing, but in the end I knew it was the only way to deal with it.

Be strong, it is better for you to make no contact. I'm still hurting, but also proud that I did not let him see my pain. Proud I can show strength. Proud I can move on. Proud that at least I know what's good for me.