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SO today I really miss him. I am still NC as he has been in therapy but not doing well from what  can tell. He has been bad mouthing me to a mutual friend (who buys it all of course). I miss my pwBPD so much these days. Have been seeing a psychologist who specializes in BPD and that helps but in truth its just a big empty wound.

I have been out with friends, working on clearing up the house and yard, doing things I value but some how I still miss him. I wonder if he will ever grab ahold of this opportunity to get well. He is having all his meds and therapy paid for by work. HE is getting care from psychiatrist and psychologist and group therapy but still blaming me all the way. Funny how black one person can be painted.

So I continue to examine myself. I continue to work on my own life. IT was full and rich before whim and will be after him. He was icing not the cake itself. I sincerely wonder if he misses me like I miss him. I suspect not as he is a child in his heart and I am a grown up. So will send him a prayer and some love in my heart and get on with my day.

Thanks for listening to my rambling. If you can, go hug your person, cause I sure wish I could hug mine.

I am going through a similar situation with my bf. I felt the same way today.  My heart goes out to you. 

Missing my wife today, so I know how you feel.

Thanks Maroon liquid. No one seems to get it other than here.