BPDFamily.com

I have a very independent BPD husband.  All I want is family time without being too overbearing... .but, he has passions golf... .sports highlights, that sometimes take precedence over my daughter and I.

This weekend, he spent one day with us, the next day we agreed that he would go golfing, and my daughter and I would spend the afternoon with friends.  We didn't really have plans for day 3, but he had stated after golf yesterday that he was done for the season as it's going into winter here... .

This morning, I let him know how much I appreciated the time together as a family this weekend. He told me "don't say that, it will jinx the weekend."

Then, I went to get us breakfast and got a call from him that he got invited to golf. I know with his BPD traits that saying no wouldn't work, and saying yes with disappointment in my voice wouldn't work, and saying yes apprehensively wouldn't work, and saying yes but trying to mask disappointment wouldn't work... .and I was on the spot when repeatedly asked with annoyance in his voice "well, is it going to bother you?""well, what else did we have planned"... .I got lambasted with questions so I sucked it up and just said "yep, go, no, I'm okay, yep, we'll be fine."

I got home and set breakfast down.  He looked me in the eye with pure hatred and disgust and said "I knew that what you said to me this morning would jinx the good weekend we were having."

We've been good for about 5 days(a record lately), and now this.  He tore out of the house slamming doors, and screeching out of the driveway... .And I'm left here, alone with my child wondering how I just got blamed and blasted for wanting just one more day of time as a family.

Now, I want to escape... .I just have no idea what's coming home... .The guy whose sorry, understands my perspective and loves me, or the Po'd guy whose not going to let this go. 

On top of this, I have to turn my disappointment around for the sake of my little girl who does not need to keep witnessing my hurt and try to get on with the day.

How do you just 'put the tough girl" on and carry on?  I have such a hard time with this.

I don't put the tough girl on.  I don't want to change who I am because he is who he is.  I've learned ways of expressing myself as not to start an argument... .it doesn't work every time and he gets his panties in a bunch, it's ok.  I just do something by myself.  I know that's difficult when you have a child, though.  I hope someone has some words of wisdom for you.